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Oct 2020
12:11pm, 23 Oct 2020
13,325 posts
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Jock Itch
Definitely joke of the day!
Trump dies from the virus. He goes to Hell where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you. But you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Trump thought that sounded pretty good so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over, such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" Trump said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented Trump.
The Devil opened a third door. In it, Trump saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
Trump looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "Monica, you're free to go!"
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Oct 2020
1:10pm, 23 Oct 2020
1,291 posts
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mushroom
My wife is fed up with my animal jokes.
"All right", I said. "Alpaca my bags.."
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Oct 2020
3:06pm, 23 Oct 2020
8,825 posts
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The Terminator
Not really feline that one mushroom.
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Oct 2020
3:36pm, 23 Oct 2020
47,328 posts
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Derby Tup
I thought it was the mutt’s
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Oct 2020
3:37pm, 23 Oct 2020
20,213 posts
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Angus Clydesdale
Stoatally unfunny
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Oct 2020
3:38pm, 23 Oct 2020
3,832 posts
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mr d
Laughed myself horse
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Oct 2020
3:42pm, 23 Oct 2020
17,998 posts
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Bazoaxe
You’re having a giraffe
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Oct 2020
3:59pm, 23 Oct 2020
36,197 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
 Llama just say, that's awful mushers.
[JI, Monica L isn't dead though, is she?]
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Oct 2020
4:01pm, 23 Oct 2020
1,293 posts
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mushroom
Sorry all, I'm not turtle-y in control...
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Oct 2020
4:06pm, 23 Oct 2020
3,834 posts
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mr d
Now you're just taking the fish
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021