Joke of the day........

506 watchers
Groundhog
Groundhog
Aug 2020
10:50pm, 8 Aug 2020
1,072 posts
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Groundhog
Oh God, what was that one? Something about decorating virgins?
Dvorak
Dvorak
Aug 2020
9:42am, 9 Aug 2020
20,435 posts
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Dvorak
"I think the cat wants to go out."

"What makes you say that?"

"He's put his hat and coat on."
Diogenes
Diogenes
Aug 2020
9:47am, 9 Aug 2020
51,846 posts
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Diogenes
“Do we need cat food?”

“I’m not sure.”

The Schroedinger’s in Tesco
Muttley
Muttley
Aug 2020
12:09pm, 9 Aug 2020
800 posts
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Muttley
I've just dumped the girlfriend because she's a communist. I should have known, there were red flags everywhere.
g1ngerrevolution
g1ngerrevolution
Aug 2020
10:00am, 10 Aug 2020
9,186 posts
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g1ngerrevolution
The first rule of "condescending club" is really kinda complex and I don't think you'd understand it even if I explained it to you.
daz1927
daz1927
Aug 2020
7:44am, 11 Aug 2020
5,835 posts
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daz1927
A new neighbor moved in.

I can tell by looking at her that she’s judgemental.
daz1927
daz1927
Aug 2020
10:26am, 11 Aug 2020
5,836 posts
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daz1927
I told my wife that I heard a Chinese man sing Hero at karaoke tonight.

"The Mariah Carey song?" she asked.

"No, Lionel Richie."
daz1927
daz1927
Aug 2020
10:28am, 11 Aug 2020
5,837 posts
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daz1927
I'll never forget the time my dad caught me smoking in the garden.

As a punishment, he sat me down and made me eat all 20 kippers....
daz1927
daz1927
Aug 2020
10:31am, 11 Aug 2020
5,838 posts
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daz1927
A policeman stopped me today.

As I stepped out of the car he said, "Sir, what did the big sign say back there?"

"Children, Slow Down." I replied.

"So why didn't you?" he asked.

I said, "Because I'm 63."
daz1927
daz1927
Aug 2020
10:33am, 11 Aug 2020
5,839 posts
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daz1927
I booked an Asian prostitute last night but she arrived 3 hours late.

She loved me wrong time.....

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