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Joke of the day........

2 lurkers | 506 watchers

colindglen Apr 2020 9:36pm, 16 Apr 2020 458 posts	0 colindglen I have a mate who is a pilot for Virgin Atlantic but because of the lockdown, he's off work, l asked him if he fancied doing a bit of decorating for me while he's at a loose end and he jumped at the chance. l must say, he made a lovely job of the landing.
Chrisity Apr 2020 12:08am, 17 Apr 2020 17,358 posts	0 Chrisity What borders on stupidity? Mexico and Canada.
daz1927 Apr 2020 9:33am, 17 Apr 2020 5,721 posts	0 daz1927 Just got pulled over by the police the officer said to me "sir I can smell alcohol" I said "yes that's because you are not respecting social distancing"
daz1927 Apr 2020 9:38am, 17 Apr 2020 5,722 posts	0 daz1927 As they hooked my dad up to the latest ventilator, he looked up at me and said "am I going to dyson? "
daz1927 Apr 2020 9:41am, 17 Apr 2020 5,723 posts	0 daz1927 STAY HOME, SAVE LIVES! Didn't work out all that well for Fred & Rose West?
Derby Tup Apr 2020 9:44am, 17 Apr 2020 39,987 posts	0 Derby Tup Not your best daz. Especially the 2nd one of the 3
daz1927 Apr 2020 9:45am, 17 Apr 2020 5,724 posts	0 daz1927 I'm missing Wetherspoons so much I just chucked £1.19 out of the window and walked 8 miles to go for a piss.
colindglen Apr 2020 5:24pm, 17 Apr 2020 459 posts	0 colindglen My attempts to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes has made me a laughing stock.
dUNKle Apr 2020 6:19am, 18 Apr 2020 13 posts	0 dUNKle Bought a large chicken to make sandwiches It doesn’t. It just shits on the floor
Maclennane Apr 2020 7:40am, 18 Apr 2020 24,037 posts	0 Maclennane A mate of mine told me I treat him like a child; so I gave him a sticker for standing up for himself

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Maintained by PhatButFit

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