Joke of the day........

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Sweaty Frank Apr 2018 12:45pm, 13 Apr 2018 2,323 posts	0 Sweaty Frank The doctor gave the 70 year old man a jar and said, "Take this home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day the man reappeared at the doctor's office and returned the jar, which was still empty . The doctor asked, what happened and the man explained. "Well, first I tried with my right hand, but I have arthritis, and it just wasn't working. I tried with my left hand, but that not much better. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried but I don't think she put much effort into it. Our neighbor Sarah stopped by, so I thought what the hell, she's much more fit than my wife, so I asked if she would mind helping an old man. She worked at it for a while, she even put it between her knees and had both hands on it, but nothing happened. The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?" The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get that jar open."
Jock Itch Apr 2018 10:29pm, 13 Apr 2018 12,437 posts	0 Jock Itch I wrote a book called 'My permanently exposed penis'... It's out now!
Dillthedog57 Apr 2018 5:02pm, 14 Apr 2018 2,316 posts	0 Dillthedog57 [first day as car salesman] Customer: Cargo space? Me: Car no do that. Car no fly. Manager: Can I see you in my office?
peachy Apr 2018 5:36pm, 14 Apr 2018 1,844 posts	0 peachy I keep randomly shouting out 'Broccoli' and 'Cauliflower' - I think I might have Florets.
TomahawkMike Apr 2018 6:37pm, 14 Apr 2018 1,281 posts	0 TomahawkMike [thankyou Peachy - that goes in my whatsapp parkrun broadcast next week]
wardi Apr 2018 1:10pm, 17 Apr 2018 39 posts	0 wardi Did you hear about the pool at the aquatic centre that wasn't fit for Porpoise?
Sigh Apr 2018 1:23pm, 17 Apr 2018 1,547 posts	0 Sigh Where do vegetarians go on holiday? Quornwall.
Nicholls595 Apr 2018 1:24pm, 17 Apr 2018 15,602 posts	0 Nicholls595 Not Brussels?
Sigh Apr 2018 1:27pm, 17 Apr 2018 1,548 posts	0 Sigh Definitely not Turkey!
Seratonin Apr 2018 2:45pm, 17 Apr 2018 22,945 posts	0 Seratonin Nor Hamburg