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Oct 2018
9:28am, 6 Oct 2018
12,034 posts
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FRU (KeepTheFaith)
Kwajalein I'm so glad you have walked in through our door... I'm so glad you can come and put it all down with us
I feel a few of us have very similar traits, worries and anxieties and it's really a huge value firstly to just know you are not alone, and secondly to just be able to share
Can has been a hugely positive thing, focus on the can
I watched a hard hitting programme (for me) about body dismorphia the other night, followed up by one on plastic surgery, followed by thinking about the lyrics in Idles Television which say "I go outside and I feel free, coz I smash mirrors and f@vk to"...
My thing is want to be free of the worrying about how my body/self looks, no one else see's what I see.. apart from one person close to me (that's a problem I've spoken to that person a number of times about it too)...
You know I believe in the small steps way ahead, teeny things, things you "can" do,
I'm sorry to hear something put you off the running club.. but a break could be really positive... and if and when you are ready you might talk to that person, or say something about why you have felt upset.. but those things can wait
Get out to the gig, go with the attitude that you in there right now are ace.. small steps ahead just make us more free to be even acer
My exercise is just hard slog at the moment, I'm considering a visit to the Dr, but am convinced it's the peak of the menopause.. I feel rank a lot of the time and fall asleep all the time from like 8:30.. but I feel still adamantly "doing" is important
Love that hat!!! Clever girl..that's going to look brill!
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Oct 2018
9:29am, 6 Oct 2018
12,035 posts
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FRU (KeepTheFaith)
Kawala Lol.. this iPad is mad!
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Oct 2018
11:08am, 6 Oct 2018
12,037 posts
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FRU (KeepTheFaith)
Ok.. less "start on Monday"
Bring back Saturday longer runs
Big one for all of us
- find one thing about yourself that you think "yeah baby"
Mine today is big red lipstick!
Moooooooooi 😊
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Oct 2018
4:48pm, 6 Oct 2018
6,343 posts
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kwala
Love the hat MissC
L10, hope your elbow heals well and quickly and you're back running soon. Also that things either settle down for you in work or you find something else. At least it sounds like you have a good team around you who appreciate you, that counts for such a lot in the workplace.
The gig last night was fab, and the company most excellent. Off to see another band next Friday, knowing I can draw on my good experience yesterday if I feel the anxiety building at any time in the run up 
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Oct 2018
4:49pm, 6 Oct 2018
6,344 posts
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kwala
FRU - thank you for starting this thread. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this stuff irl, my hubby included - he's not uncaring, unloving or unsympathetic but he just doesn't understand.
When I felt my worst a couple of years back I didn't tell him anything, even when I started therapy, and he only found out because I had a full on hyperventilating panic attack in front of him when we were about to go out, so I had no choice but to talk to him about it. So dumb to think I could cope on my own and hide it!!
I wouldn't wish any of these kinds of problems on anyone, but it is wonderful to have a place where I can say this stuff without fear of judgement, and receive nothing but empathy, and words of comfort and advice in return xxx
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Oct 2018
5:05pm, 6 Oct 2018
6,345 posts
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kwala
...and as an aside, here's a quick question for you all - last night I dreamt I was riding around town on a mobility scooter. Is this a sign that I need to get my big wobbly body down the gym sooner rather than later?!?!?!
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Oct 2018
10:16am, 7 Oct 2018
12,038 posts
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FRU (KeepTheFaith)
I think we're all on a journey.. and for me that includes voicing somethings with people that will get it.
Judgement is something no one needs unless your entering bake off! 😊 And we are not
I find it hard with my fella as he's lean, never had any problems with weight and can be on a very different level than me, my body holds on tight to weight and I've to-yo'd all my life because I'm so crushing of myself about weight
I'm glad to know your CBT helps Kwala, that's really positive.. again that takes effort too but worth it
My thing at the moment is to strip the focus right off food, and scales also seem to have a negative on me
Omg that dream! The only thing I'd say is find something you like.. I still no good at weights etc, northerns home set up is wicked and doing with hubby... I like running, it's mine, I do t need anyone else to do it with me, I also love rowing now at the gym and swimming
Swimming is giving me some body freedom as I had to get over myself and get in a cozy, now I'm ok about it. Yes I would love a smaller one, but for now I'm what I am and progress has to start somewhere
I went out yesterday (in the pouring rain) with my fella, I had on a black polo neck, my new antique autumn leaf combats (think they were blokes at some point) dr martens and my leatherjacket... looked fierce lol!! But I liked the look and though what the hell... I had a comment about my middle looking too big.. you know what I did?
I said enough of that talk, it's really not helpful, this IS what I'm wearing
I wasn't impressed... but I ignored it. My tummy is too big but I don't see why anyone shouldn't wear what they want to, and not everyone focuses in on that anyhow!
We had an ace day, went charity shop shopping. Got a cool piece of furniture to finish off my new shed/workshop/bar.. picking that up today. And another royal wedding mug for the shed collection...then we had a purple of drinks, collected small step son who'd been "out" with his mates (13 cinema trip, game shop). That boy! He'd spend his food money on a litre of pop and sweets!!
So.. yes, this thread is for all of us, say whatever we want, not critics, not judge, just be us and work out the small steps
I almost got a new notebook yesterday, then I thought no, accept the wonky weeks and push forwards... you have to accept the wonks
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Oct 2018
2:32pm, 7 Oct 2018
5,657 posts
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sallykate
I addressed my binge/compulsive eating with a book called Overcoming Overeating (this was a long time ago so not sure it’s still in print). One of its central points was that we have to stop giving simple words more power than they should have (for example, treating fat as the same way as short or blonde - a simple description). One of the suggested exercises was to look at ourselves in the mirror and describe what we see in non-judgmental language. “I go in here and out here. This bit is rounded, this bit is flat” etc - it’s a weird one but it does help with negative body image. Helps us to own our bodies the way they are now rather than live in some utopian future (and possibly unrealistic) ideal.
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Oct 2018
4:05pm, 7 Oct 2018
6,346 posts
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kwala
Joined the gym this morning, it's very small and seems quite friendly. I was going to go for the 7 day free pass but instead I jumped right in with the monthly package with 2 PT sessions a week. As the guy was showing me round I realised how much I've missed doing my weights sessions, so I'm really excited to get started. First PT session is on Tuesday - no mobility scooter for me just yet!!
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Oct 2018
4:17pm, 7 Oct 2018
7,288 posts
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Mandymoo
That's brilliant Kwala well done
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