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Dec 2018
8:12pm, 17 Dec 2018
10,524 posts
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Snowqueendippily
Headmasters note: despite significant setbacks this year Diogenes continues to press for the highest achievements. While his zest is admirable, he would do well to favour patience and strength work in the early part of the year
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Dec 2018
8:21pm, 17 Dec 2018
10,525 posts
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Snowqueendippily
Pupil: Serendippily
Class: F45
Running
Positives: An excellent first three terms. Highest mileage to date, including multiple track sessions. Significant improvement in 2017 marathon times. Delighted in several social runs where speed was not of the essence. Knuckled down to some strength work in final quarter.
Negatives: Plantar Fascilitis in final quarter of year was the price to be paid for running on injuries and for messing around with form
Grade: B+
Summary: Serendippilys enthusiasm for running cannot be faulted but she must consider her long term wellbeing and seek professional advice on her gait. Her issues in the final term can clearly be tracked back many years. Continued strength work will help her goal to be injury free next year
Target for 2019: steady mileage across all 12 months. Run all the way up Butser Hill. At least 10 track sessions
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Dec 2018
8:56pm, 17 Dec 2018
24,817 posts
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HellsBells
Pupil: HellsBells
Expelled
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Dec 2018
8:58pm, 17 Dec 2018
24,904 posts
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DingDongMerrilyDaisy
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Dec 2018
9:21pm, 17 Dec 2018
16,047 posts
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Carpathius
Pupil: Carpathius
Class: F35
Running
Carpathius has finally started to work as the year has gone on, instead of doing the bare minimum and then complaining about her grades. In the autumn term she has gained one PB and come close to another. She also won first prize in the Girls 24 Hour Race. This is a promising base to work on next year's targets which include finally completing a 100k and not being sidetracked by spotting the Greater Crested CBA.
Grade: B+
Cycling
Carpathius has not worked as hard on the bike as she is capable of this year. As soon as the road rises she gets off and walks instead of pushing herself to overcome minor inclines. She has stopped attending Spin class, preferring to bunk off behind the bike sheds. However, this is her most consistent year so far, with each month containing some sort of cycling. It is also the highest yearly mileage to date, although that's not saying much considering her patchy previous efforts. Could, and should, do better.
D-
Swimming
As with cycling, Carpathius's efforts have been sporadic, but we were pleased to see her taking advantage of the weather and her location and going open water swimming on her own initiative. She achieved a PB in this year's Mill 2 Mill Swim but failed to enter any other swimming races despite having the entry pages as open tabs on her Internet. However she did swim all year and took opportunities of Mini Swimmy sessions to work on speed, now approaching the pace of an elderly, arthritic manatee as opposed to ocean flotsam.
Grade: B-
Cross Training
Disappointing. Carpathius has grand intentions about sticking to things which dissolve after a few weeks as soon as the sofa looks inviting. Must try harder.
Grade: C
Summary
Keep up with the positive attitude to running, don't be tempted to slack off and aim for some consistency in swimming and cross training. Put some concerted effort into cycling and start attending Spin class again or risk an F.
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Dec 2018
9:24pm, 17 Dec 2018
17,553 posts
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ChrisHB
Pupil: ChrisHB
Class: M65
Running
Chris and consistent effort are mutually incompatible concepts. Chris seems to think that running is all about enjoyment. Scenery, new places and such-like. When it comes to running through mud, Chris talks the talk but fails to splash or fall headlong in it. Chris also fails to support the sportswear industry, buying only discontinued and discounted shoes, and wearing shoes until they are past disreputable. Some of his clothing appears to be unbranded.
We have given up on trying to improve Chris. We are sad to report that he can also be quite insolent, telling us how much he enjoys running when we know what is best for him.
Grade: F
Cycling:
Chris has excused himself from cycling this year on the grounds of family illness and frailty. He still needs to hand in notes from his mother and mother-in-law confirming this excuse.
Grade: not graded
Swimming
Chris's swimming is deplorable, however he is learning fast and may be a moderately competent swimmer in a year's time.
Grade: A+ for effort.
HEADTEACHER'S COMMENTS
If the comments on Running and Swimming had been written by two of my colleagues I would have to bang their heads together for their wildly divergent views on Chris and Effort. As both were written by the same colleague I confess I am at a loss. I look forward to the day when it is no longer necessary to employ PE teachers to teach PE.
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Dec 2018
9:27pm, 17 Dec 2018
16,048 posts
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Carpathius
Headteacher's Note to Parents of HellsBells:
Please accept our apologies for the rogue report you received. An unnamed person gained access to the report card system and seemed to think it would be amusing. They will be ceremoniously sacked. An official report will be issued forthwith.
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Dec 2018
9:33pm, 17 Dec 2018
14,160 posts
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Shark the Herald Angel
Board of Governors steps in:
'What is this nonsense about HellsBells? We would like to confirm that the pupil in question has NOT been expelled and continues to be a highly valued, well respected, well liked and useful member of FE Comprehensive.
Tsk!'
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Dec 2018
9:24am, 18 Dec 2018
2,675 posts
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Auld Lang Sigh
Pupil: Sigh
Class: M50
Subjects:
Running (1 mile race): Effort C, Achievement E
Running (5k race): Effort B, Achievement C
Running (10k race): Effort B, Achievement C
Running (Interval training) Effort E, Achievement E
Running (Hill training) Effort C, Achievement D
Running (Fartlek) Fail (too much chuckling in class)
Cycling (general) Effort E, Achievement E
Swimming (general) Effort E, Achievement E
Cross Training (Core): Effort D, Achievement D
Summary:
The first half of the year was a disaster for Sigh, with one DNS, two DNF and disappointing results in those races that he did finish. This, combined with his excessive substance abuse before class, very nearly led to his expulsion.
Sigh volunteered to put himself in Special Measures from July onwards, and by the end of the year we are finally beginning to see a return to form last achieved back in 2014. Whilst it is important to recognise this achievement, there is still plenty of room for further improvement. Keep up the good work!
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Dec 2018
9:41am, 18 Dec 2018
3,595 posts
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Sweetie
Pupil: Sweetie
Class: F45
Running
Sweetie had a slow start to the year due to injury but has worked back up sensibly to a reasonable mileage. Although speed has still not returned I have high hopes for 2019 if their sensible approach is maintained and they don’t get over ambitious with long distances.
Grade: B for effort, C for attainment
Cycling
Sweetie has applied herself well to cycling this year with highest mileage year to date, unfortunately, despite the obvious effort, Sweetie still lags far behind her peers in this class. An impressive improvement of 24% in FTP was unfortunately offset by weight gain, this must be addressed if she is going to keep up with the class next year.
Grade: B for effort, E for attainment.
Swimming
Sweetie has made good progress in swimming, with a good improvement in speed in the pool. She has successfully completed several ironman distance swims, although sighting still needs work, I have high hopes for further improvement in 2019. Sadly, momentum has slipped a bit towards the end of the year, which is a pity as I know she can do better.
Grade: B for effort, B for attainment
Cross Training
Rarely seen in class despite them expressing the best of intentions.
Grade: E
Summary
Overall Sweetie has made good progress in class this year, running and swimming are coming along well but more effort needs to be made to address their shortcomings in cycling.
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