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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

151 watchers
Carpathius
Carpathius
Feb 2020
5:13am, 25 Feb 2020
18,801 posts
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Carpathius
That must be so difficult to see and remember Chris :(
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Feb 2020
6:37am, 25 Feb 2020
1,988 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope your mum is soon comfortable Chris.
LazyDaisy
LazyDaisy
Feb 2020
7:23am, 25 Feb 2020
29,326 posts
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LazyDaisy
That is sad and worrying, Chris.
LindsD
LindsD
Feb 2020
7:52am, 25 Feb 2020
33,504 posts
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LindsD
That sounds awful to see and think about, Chris.
Garfield
Garfield
Feb 2020
8:49am, 25 Feb 2020
12,009 posts
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Garfield
So sorry to hear this Chris.
Velociraptor
Velociraptor
Feb 2020
8:52am, 25 Feb 2020
45,383 posts
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Velociraptor
Difficult stuff, Chris :( Though it's amazing how some elderly people trundle along in a state of having so little muscle reserve that they're one illness away from becoming immobile.
Wombling Plodder (Welsh Womble)
Wombling Plodder (Welsh Womble)
Feb 2020
10:11am, 25 Feb 2020
2,967 posts
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Wombling Plodder (Welsh Womble)
Sorry to hear this Chris - I hope Mum is made as comfortable as possible.

It was quite a shock when MiL looked like this, plus as she was mostly in hospital she never bothered to get dressed so you got to see more skin and bone :-( Once she had recovered from all the re-occurring infections she started to eat a little bit more and the dietitians have done a fab job on rebuilding her. She is still underweight but compared to where she was she is doing well to maintain. They have managed to build up her energy levels so she is a little bit mobile but as for muscle I am not sure what is holding her bones in place.
Markymarkmark
Markymarkmark
Feb 2020
2:50pm, 25 Feb 2020
10,726 posts
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Markymarkmark
That's hard, Chris. When my Mum was first ill I had the same thoughts.

She now has the opposite problem - there is rather too much of her, and very little of it is actually muscle, now she is basically immobile. When she's more "aware" she is embarrassed by that, but for a depressingly large amount of the times I've seen her over the last few months she's not been too bothered, and enjoys her butter and cream... :-(
Mandymoo
Mandymoo
Feb 2020
9:42am, 27 Feb 2020
9,507 posts
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Mandymoo
So sad Chris.

Mum is all settled in her new flat, she seems pretty happy enough (nothing is ever perfect though). She seems to be losing a lot of weight rather quickly so need to get her checked over to.

My dad (my blood dad, the mum above is my adoptive mum and much older) had a nasty crash on his bike before Christmas which is taking him a long time to get over. He was knocked off and knocked out cold but luckily outside the hospital in Barcelona, no broken bones but lots of muscle damage. This last weekend he was in hospital due to palpitations, and not able to get heart beat under control, so they did the stop/restart of his heart and fingers crossed he is ok at the moment, on drugs and goes back in a couple of weeks. Hate him being so far away but thankfully they are moving back to the UK this summer
minardi
minardi
Mar 2020
12:00pm, 1 Mar 2020
5,190 posts
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minardi
I posted on 21 Feb that my uncle died unexpectedly before my aunt. My aunt joined him last night 😪 Looks like they may be having a joint funeral. I can't begin to comprehend what my cousins are going through.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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