Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
5 lurkers |
140 watchers
6 Sep
7:51am, 6 Sep 2024
69,587 posts
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LindsD
Ps. I also do the card thing....
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6 Sep
8:01am, 6 Sep 2024
17,755 posts
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jda
I think everyone does the card thing! FiL had a fairly large Christmas list of past colleagues often met while working abroad (or they were in UK) mostly not met in years, boxes full of cards arranged by years going back decades. Frankly the least of our worries. All in the recycling. More oddly, someone asked if they could send their recently deceased parent’s last Christmas round robin letter to my wife, knowing her father (the intended recipient at time of writing) had also died  “It was what she asked me to do”. Well ok then. Vague overseas parental acquaintance has children and grandchildren of various genders and ages, and things happened and they did stuff. |
6 Sep
8:05am, 6 Sep 2024
24,705 posts
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3M
I do keep the cards from my children (when they were children) and my grandchildren. And some of those from Mrs3M. I've got a horribly sentimental streak about such things!
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6 Sep
8:13am, 6 Sep 2024
7,375 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Not much of a keeper of anything myself including race medals, cards etc. Just as well as I have no idea who will be clearing up after me.
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6 Sep
8:14am, 6 Sep 2024
17,757 posts
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jda
A point of view we’ve found useful is to keep reminding ourselves that the memories were his, not ours, and it’s entirely reasonable that stuff that seemed important to him just doesn’t have any value to us. It’s his old photos, letters, souvenirs, books, documentation of meticulously planned holiday trips, dentist appointment cards and shopping receipts Not ours. And our memories of him aren’t tied up in *his* stuff for the most part. We have our own stuff for that.
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6 Sep
8:59am, 6 Sep 2024
54,478 posts
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McGoohan
jda wrote: A point of view we’ve found useful is to keep reminding ourselves that the memories were his, not ours, and it’s entirely reasonable that stuff that seemed important to him just doesn’t have any value to us. That's a very good way of dealing with it, I think |
6 Sep
9:05am, 6 Sep 2024
27,361 posts
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Bazoaxe
Mil had two filing cabinets full of documents dating back to the 70s. We tried to sort it out a couple of years back as we tried to establish where her financial affairs were as the PoA for finances was put in place. There were dozens of old now closed accounts and savings that we had to investigate. It’s possible some may exist that we didn’t explore. My bigger worry is that Mrs axe is a hoarder and has filled mil garage with her hoardings. That needs brought back here and ideally before BiL realises it’s there. We have nowhere to put it. Other than the tip. |
6 Sep
9:18am, 6 Sep 2024
77,430 posts
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Lip Gloss
Wow just reading back and it’s clear we had similar dads houses to clear out. We were taking books to the recycling centre and the special van was emptying the crates so we asked them what happens to the books. He said they all went to a big warehouse and was scanned and catalogued and if worth anything they were sold and money sent to schools, charities etc. others were given to hospitals and places where they could be used again. We felt better knowing that as we did feel it was a shame just to discard them. |
6 Sep
9:31am, 6 Sep 2024
18,088 posts
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Garfield
@Little Miss Happy - We're not there yet...we fly out on Wednesday, Thursday will drive to the small town, so that's when things will start. It will be interesting to see how it goes...as it's hotting up for next week! High 20s...if the weather forecast is to be believed!! |
6 Sep
9:39am, 6 Sep 2024
4,547 posts
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jabberknit
My Mum had kept all the cards and things our daughters had sent her, tidily sorted into files. Didn't get around to dealing with them after her death because of our daughter's illness and death immediately after. Definitely can't bring myself to deal with them now. They may have to remain a problem for our older girl some time in the future.
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