|
5 Sep
8:35pm, 5 Sep 2024
69,583 posts
|
LindsD
So tough Baz
|
|
5 Sep
9:19pm, 5 Sep 2024
24,697 posts
|
3M
That's hard, Baz.
We have mixed fortunes with our elderlies today.
I think I've got a remortgage sorted for my Mum's house, meaning she can continue to live there for (at least) another 6 years. (I'll be surprised if she's still with us by then, but who can tell?) So that continue "as is", assuming my sister can find the relevant pension statements!
Meanwhile F-i-L has been feeling sorry for himself since his macular disease has apparently made it's presence felt over the last couple of days, and it's entailed an "emergency" visit to St James in Leeds - who politely told him (after an examination) to go home and come back for his scheduled appointment next Thursday. He's turning into a bit of a hypochondriac since his fall, and according to him he can hardly see to press the lift buttons. The eye exam in Leeds seems to have come to a different conclusion. (He also apparently can't see his phone either, yet managed to look up and ring a taxi to take him this morning. I'm therefore sceptical about the degree of sight loss.)
|
|
5 Sep
9:50pm, 5 Sep 2024
17,752 posts
|
jda
There was various bits of decking and fencing, and other stuff accumulated through decades of house extensions. It's all self-built wood frame with bits stuck on in various directions. Two wooden sheds too (one a good garage size, one end stuffed with his accumulated scientific research, the other end packed with timber!)
Oh, that reminds me, we never went to the uni to clear out his desk. Think we'll keep quiet about that!
|
|
5 Sep
9:51pm, 5 Sep 2024
17,753 posts
|
jda
Bazo, that sounds hard work on multiple levels...
|
|
6 Sep
6:12am, 6 Sep 2024
7,372 posts
|
Little Miss Happy
3M - sounds like a lot going on. I take it equity release wasn't an option for your mum? FiL seems to have lost his confidence - not uncommon - I hope he can regain it quickly or things are only likely to get worse.
Baz - I think it's good the not being able to be at home decision was taken out of your hands. So frustrating and unnecessary with your BiL though.
Good progress Garfield - how much longer are you out there for?
Must be quite a literal and metaphorical weight lifted jda. Is the sale going through?
|
|
6 Sep
6:39am, 6 Sep 2024
27,359 posts
|
Bazoaxe
I agree LMH. I hope the outcome is a care home but that will start all the drama.
Mil won’t be happy. BiL will be obstructive. He won’t want to pay more than he has to despite there being enough money to fund the best place we can find.
|
|
6 Sep
6:41am, 6 Sep 2024
3,958 posts
|
Big_G
Talking about things people store/collect/hoard, it seems my Dad may have kept basically every Xmas/birthday card over the last 30 or 40 years. No order to them and pretty sure he never looked back and read them, but there are 100s. Probably 20 leather jackets, payslips going back decades, and prescription receipts all in a bundle. I was out for lunch with a mate yesterday and I saw his face change when I mentioned the Xmas cards. He said ‘oooph, that’s hit a nerve as I do the same!’, and then he said he was going to go home and chuck them all in the bin!
It’s very slow progress, and I’m finding it harder than I expected. Oddly, things like books I’m finding it hard to know what to do. I’ve memories of him digging out reference books when I was a kid, and going through stuff with me. They’re really no use to anyone (I’ve phoned a couple of charities and they don’t take reference books) and I haven’t got the space at mine, but at the moment they’re back on the shelf - my ‘touch it once and deal with it’-policy has gone out the window! I expect they’ll be dealt with in a second or third sift through.
He had kept all of Mum’s hospital notes in the years leading up to her death from cancer - really sad coming across that as I wasn’t expecting to see that. Again, pretty sure he never read any of it (why would he), but he kept it for some reason. He also had a court case back in the 80s where he was a witness, which I really didn’t remember the details of as I was about 7 or 8, but all the paperwork from that is there.
Also, his garage and tool shed. It’s very ordered and he only ever got quality tools, and I think I’ve said before he was very practical with his hands etc, and it’s just bringing back memories.
It’s guess it someone’s life I’m starting to go through, and it’s tough. It’s going to take time and I’m not in a hurry.
—
In other news, I got the quote from the solicitor in writing the other day, where I said I thought it would be another couple of grand. Well, it’s £2K for the probate, plus “between the range of £7,650 to £8,150 plus VAT” for the formal administration. This is for an estate that he said couldn’t be simpler. I’m definitely doing it myself. Only concern is figuring out what I need to do to claim Mum’s nil-rate band for inheritance tax purposes, but I’m hoping that’ll all become clear when I go through the initial probate application. Does anyone have experience of claiming that?
|
|
6 Sep
6:50am, 6 Sep 2024
7,373 posts
|
Little Miss Happy
Not just 'someone's' life Big G - it's bound to be emotional. Can't help with the tax question.
|
|
6 Sep
7:07am, 6 Sep 2024
17,754 posts
|
jda
The house sale is ok subject to probate LMH, so all we can do is cross our fingers and hope they don't get cold feet in the meantime. And if they do, we can just market it again. Now it's just sitting there not requiring too much attention so shouldn't be a big headache.
|
|
6 Sep
7:50am, 6 Sep 2024
69,586 posts
|
LindsD
Hugs Big_G. It's hard.
Mum had a local 2nd hand bookseller come round for the books. He didn't take them all but some.
Probate should be simple. We had to claim the extra allowance for half of the house going to kids and it was fine.
|
The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
