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29 Feb
8:22am, 29 Feb 2024
2,650 posts
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CK2
I’ve found this thread really supportive before, during and after my dad’s death 16 months ago. I’m now posting about my mum. It’s worrying when they’re so fat away isn’t it Mandy?
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29 Feb
8:33am, 29 Feb 2024
18,462 posts
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Mandymoo
It really is yes, but he has to live his life still and is way to independent to.chnage anything yet. I think he will make the right decision on the house when the time is right.
He is planning on getting his bike fitness back up and doing some old git cycling events - not sure how that makes me feel really either r
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29 Feb
9:35am, 29 Feb 2024
17,135 posts
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Dave W
But you can't wrap them in cotton wool, MM. Have the same with my dad, but he needs to keep going. Otherwise what's the point?
Better that he does cycling and keeps his mind and body active than just sitting and vegetating in front of the fire.
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29 Feb
9:57am, 29 Feb 2024
16,591 posts
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jda
Activity is great. FiL was never sporty but even last summer was still mowing the lawn, about 2 stripes per day so he barely kept up with it growing 
He’s going into the care home tomorrow, all systems go here! Not sure of timing so we will take him some stuff on Sat.
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29 Feb
10:02am, 29 Feb 2024
66,890 posts
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LindsD
Good luck jda
I wish my Mum would do more. She has let old age and frailty happen to her.
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29 Feb
11:23am, 29 Feb 2024
6,963 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Mandy - can you have a conversation with him about driving?
Things are moving quickly now jda. It's probably worth a conversation with the care home about labelling clothes, what belongings he can take etc.
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29 Feb
7:12pm, 29 Feb 2024
16,596 posts
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jda
Yes LMH we are onto that. Not so long since my dad was in a care home so although I wasn't primary point of contact for that we know pretty much how things work. Much more so than the hospital who have been hopelessly uncommunicative from start to finish on the clinical side. When he first went in they were talking about possibilities of elbow replacement and/or a plate, this idea seems to have been abandoned at some point and the assumption now seems to be that he won't receive any further treatment, his arm remaining in a sling and unusable. No-one has actually said this to us though (specifically my wife, holding a power of attorney). She's barely been able to speak to a doctor over the past couple of months, most of the info we've gleaned has been from the nurses on the ward when we visit.
The discharge team have been good but they don't really know any of the medical stuff.
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29 Feb
10:25pm, 29 Feb 2024
7,318 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Was round at mum's this morning where nephew and I rearranged the furniture to accommodate the hospital style bed that was delivered at lunchtime - a smooth operation.
I sometimes hesitate to post as I'm aware that in mum and my sister I have a much easier time of it than many of you - who have the patience or at least forbearance of saints.
It's still hard however to see your mum exhausted by the effort of getting washed and dressed, and the rasping breath as her cancer progresses. As she said to Mrs TR yesterday "I've had a lovely long life, I don't want it to end miserably"
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29 Feb
10:43pm, 29 Feb 2024
74,330 posts
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Lip Gloss
Oh bless. By the sounds of things she has indeed had a great life and its sad to them in pain xx
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29 Feb
10:53pm, 29 Feb 2024
66,895 posts
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LindsD
Post away TR. All welcome.
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