Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

3 lurkers | 140 watchers

HappyG(rrr) Nov 2023 11:50am, 14 Nov 2023 48,422 posts	0 HappyG(rrr) How do they evaluate "strong enough for a biopsy"? Mum 87 with COPD and on oxygen in house 16hrs per day, has 3 lumps and has been told not strong enough for biopsy. Should I be challenging that?
LindsD Nov 2023 12:11pm, 14 Nov 2023 64,949 posts	0 LindsD I don't know. A lot to do with age, I think. No point in a biopsy if the person then cannot undergo treatment, I guess. If you think she is stronger than they are giving her credit for, then perhaps. Dad had COPD from industrial exposure in his 30s but was otherwise pretty healthy and strong for his age. Obviously there's a point where you have to trust them if they say she can't withstand the anaesthetic (assuming that's what we are saying here) but as I say, Dad had the biopsy (under GA) and then six rounds of pretty devastating chemo and lived another three years. Anecdata
Little Miss Happy Nov 2023 12:25pm, 14 Nov 2023 6,748 posts	0 Little Miss Happy Usually risk/benefit Happy. Seren - what would you want a diagnosis for your mum to achieve? Is there another way to make that happen?
Mandymoo Nov 2023 12:37pm, 14 Nov 2023 17,709 posts	0 Mandymoo Dipps that's terrible and so stressful, am so sorry When mum was poorly at the end, we struggled to get her seen by anyone. We only found out she had cancer when it written on her death certificate
Bazoaxe Nov 2023 12:38pm, 14 Nov 2023 25,904 posts	0 Bazoaxe Mrs Axe has had another call about a fall and is on her way around in her lunch hour. GP was in yesterday as was the Dementia Nurse. Dementia nurse has reported the GP was making noises that MiL was no longer safe at home. Mrs Axe hadnt heard that from the GP directly though. It feels like we are just at or over the tipping point
Little Miss Happy Nov 2023 12:43pm, 14 Nov 2023 6,749 posts	0 Little Miss Happy I hope you are Baz. Your current situation doesn't sound sustainable and it would be better if 'someone in authority' made the decision.
LindsD Nov 2023 1:08pm, 14 Nov 2023 64,952 posts	0 LindsD That ^
EvilPixie Nov 2023 1:10pm, 14 Nov 2023 48,748 posts	0 EvilPixie what LMH said
Mandymoo Nov 2023 1:38pm, 14 Nov 2023 17,711 posts	0 Mandymoo Yep what LMH said
jda Nov 2023 2:02pm, 14 Nov 2023 15,888 posts	0 jda Bazo, I think you and your wife have done very well to support your MiL to this point, I thought you were probably close to the tipping point a year or more ago! Other than that, what LMH said.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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