Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

5 lurkers | 140 watchers
CK2
Nov 2023
9:51pm, 13 Nov 2023
2,399 posts
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CK2
That would make me mad Lizzie. I hope she’s asleep for your next visit. What does your mum think of her?
Nov 2023
6:21am, 14 Nov 2023
6,747 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Annoying Lizzie. How's your mum doing?
Nov 2023
7:06am, 14 Nov 2023
28,144 posts
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Lizzie Whizz
Mum says she is a bit loud. Mum is teaching her about diabetes when she can get a word in ;-). Much improved, thank you. She's got her stoma and is now on the waiting list for rehab/intermediate care unit. Mobility needs work. I am having kittens about her coming home, as she and Dad can kind of look after themselves but not eachother as well.
Nov 2023
7:08am, 14 Nov 2023
64,935 posts
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LindsD
Sounds cautiously positive
Nov 2023
7:36am, 14 Nov 2023
28,145 posts
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Lizzie Whizz
Yes, that's the one, Linds!
Nov 2023
7:48am, 14 Nov 2023
64,936 posts
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LindsD
:)
Nov 2023
10:33am, 14 Nov 2023
29,278 posts
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Serendippily
Fucking awful here. No one wants to assess my mum for autism, its a three year wait and she’s 88. So they contact her and she blocks them out, and they rock up and she panics. Id just got her to a place where i could drop by once a week and get food in and now she doesnt want to see me or for me to give her any food. Which is where we were when she got sectioned. Which i only accepted because she’d lost so much weight and they thought it might be dementia. Its all awful. I have a friend with a child of six whose been told not to bother getting an assessment because the wait is so long and i despair because its the only way sensory issues are believed and the only protection against a world that otherwise assumes your mad because the things they usually do and the ways they usually behave dont work. Both sides need to change *gets off soapbox*
Nov 2023
10:40am, 14 Nov 2023
64,943 posts
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LindsD
Absolutely agree. I'm so sorry. Sounds really awful.
Nov 2023
11:00am, 14 Nov 2023
48,421 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Oh gosh, dipps, that's terrible. Your poor mum. You'd think the world got this stuff by now?
Nov 2023
11:18am, 14 Nov 2023
64,944 posts
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LindsD
When Dad had cancer the first time - he was 83 - we felt very much that we had to fight for treatment. The mindset was 'he's 83, he's not strong enough, he should just be made comfortable to die'. They didn't even want to do a biopsy. When they saw how quickly he recovered from the biopsy and how strong he was, they agreed to chemo and he got another three years of decent life before it came back. I totally understand that attitude, but it's frustrating and upsetting.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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