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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

146 watchers
Jun 2017
8:46pm, 18 Jun 2017
11,452 posts
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Bazoaxe
BiL seems to have managed to get the police out. They have said as no evidence of a crime, nothing they can do.

Should we ditch the key safe idea which we got a few months ago as she failed to answer the door or phone on a few occassions

If you lock the door and leaves the keys in the lock, I couldnt open it with keys...but then I am no burglar
Jun 2017
8:47pm, 18 Jun 2017
11,453 posts
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Bazoaxe
I did ask if she may have had a dream that felt real (ive had plenty of those) but that was dismissed.
Jun 2017
8:50pm, 18 Jun 2017
20,000 posts
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Red Squirrel
My mum's got a friend who lives in a council block in Leeds. Last time my folks visited her, she said the Police had tapped her 'phone and others in the block as they were carrying out a sting on drug dealers living there. She'd mentioned the building being infested with dealers previously, coming and goings etc and my parents weren't sure whether to believe it or not. They then thought she'd lost it when she talked about the 'phone tapping.

Anyway ... turned out to be true. Council moved her to a nice old biddies low-rise block as they felt she was vulnerable in the other place.
Jun 2017
9:38pm, 18 Jun 2017
5,994 posts
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bigleggy
If you have keys in the back of the door it is possible to open the door. But only if the keys in the back of the door are in the starting position i.e. the position they would be in when you first put the key in the lock.

I hope it was just a dream though !
Jun 2017
9:45pm, 18 Jun 2017
2,241 posts
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Serendippily
Mil had condensation running down walls which turned out to be cannabis factory in attic next door. Every now and then the wildest tales turn out to be true.
Jun 2017
11:06pm, 18 Jun 2017
12,004 posts
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Carpathius
We installed cameras for aunt-in-law because of her stories about her neighbour sneaking over in the dead of night and having tapped her 'phone and listened in to every call.
Cameras showed nothing. Ah, but that's because Evil Neighbour (old chap in his eighties, recently widowed) had taken control of the cameras.

Literally everyone in her life has nefarious purposes, she is completely incapable of holding a conversation that doesn't involve long storied about how so-and-so's daughter in law moved so-and-so into a home because she wanted to get her bungalow all to herself and steal everything. Or the chap opposite who used to be the mayor and embezzled money to pay for TWO new kitchens in the last twenty years, and she hasn't had a new kitchen since she moved in over forty years ago, but that what Those Sort Of People (black people) do and nobody qould dare challenge him. (I know the ex - mayor, served on the same governing body for seven years. Lovely hardworking honest man).
Or the nurse up the road, who gets aunt's medical records and shares them with every person in the road.

I spend most of any time with her biting my tongue very hard.

MiL is being a trial today. She's sulking and being very short and snippy but won't say why. It's like having another child to look after.
Jun 2017
11:06am, 19 Jun 2017
13,167 posts
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Columba
Oh, Carp! You need the patience of a saint! Maybe you've got the patience of a saint.
Jun 2017
11:40am, 19 Jun 2017
18,787 posts
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LazyDaisy
I am so glad to know it's not just my mother who has these conspiracy delusions!
Jun 2017
11:52am, 19 Jun 2017
2,249 posts
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Serendippily
Or mine :-(
Jun 2017
11:53am, 19 Jun 2017
17,690 posts
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LindsD
Or mine!

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Related Threads

  • age
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