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May 2019
4:00pm, 10 May 2019
3,838 posts
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1step2far
Than Runnybunny that's really helpful. I'm not financially secure but on some levels I'm brilliant at my job. But my employers always get frustrated that I'm a bit odd in meetings or I get wound up and let myself down. (Although some of this is certainly my reaction to personalities). I just wonder if they knew I'd get some breathing space. They way they talk and go about supporting the students is superb. But I feel I'd want to establish myself and prove my competence before saying anything.
Halfpint I agree... I had always dismissed the thought of autism in myself as I don't meet the classic presentation. One of my colleagues showed me an infographic of autism in teenage girls and looking back it described me as a teenager to the letter (if you change the word dolls to radio controlled dalek etc).
Also thank you to those that have F mailed me. You've all been great.
My apologies if I've hijacked the thread.
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May 2019
4:56pm, 10 May 2019
2,137 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Thanks for raising the issue. I'm late 50s and hadn't considered being on the spectrum until a couple of years or so ago. I'm a maths grad working in software development, hate social events, have only ever worked for one company (36 years), and both my nephews are on the spectrum (when I raised the idea that I was on the spectrum with my sister she commented that she thought my elder nephew and I had a lot in common).
I won't go for formal diagnosis - work know me after 36 years and I intend retiring in 2 years. I don't get on with my boss and try to avoid him as much as possible but we've found a way of working that "works". What I am now trying to do is cut myself some slack. Mrs TR knows I hate making phone calls so she makes the calls where possible. I used to feel I needed to make a contribution to society (badly phrased sounds too grand!!) and ended up as chair of governers of local school and then chairman of local cricket club. Both roles gave me significant stress. Gave up school a few years ago, and last year switched role at cricket club with the treasurer - I'm much happier dealing with numbers/money rather than people!
What I've picked up from HP's post is the fatigue. Hadn't considered that that might be a symptom.
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May 2019
4:59pm, 10 May 2019
2,138 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Re fatigue: have felt fatigued for years -been to doctor a couple of times but never identified a cause.
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May 2019
7:44pm, 10 May 2019
28,005 posts
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halfpint
I’m the same TR. Been given multiple blood tests over the years but no reason found for constant tiredness. I probably underestimate how hard I have to try at the social stuff.
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May 2019
8:07pm, 10 May 2019
41,590 posts
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Velociraptor
That sounds like a whole new avenue for me to explore with patients who present as being tired all the time without a medical reason (there's almost never one) or obvious social sources of stress and fatigue. It makes a lot of sense.
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May 2019
8:25pm, 10 May 2019
26,285 posts
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Dave.O
A lady at work asked if I suffered Aspergers (I do know her well not a complete stranger) due to my complete lack of sympathy. So I did a few online assessments out of curiosity, well 5 all in. 3 put me in borderline and two put me in the spectrum all high lighting sympathy/empathy and social skills, all advised seeking a proper assessment.
When I jokingly mentioned it to my sister in law her response was "I'm not surprised as when I first met you, you hardly spoke to me for the first few months and everyone knows not to come to you for sympathy" And asked if I thought of getting properly assessed
I did think of it but in the end, I thought I've got this far in life okay why bother and there are people out there who need the help a lot more than I do. But it does kind of answer a few things about me that I never considered.
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May 2019
8:30pm, 10 May 2019
5,649 posts
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Dooogs
That is interesting - the complete lack of sympathy is my OH to a tee, although a) she would not thank me for the diagnosis and b) with her, sometimes it's tricky to tease out inherently neurodivergent behaviour from 'normal for Israelis'.
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May 2019
9:03pm, 10 May 2019
967 posts
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RunnyBunny
Since I realised, I can pin fatigue on quite specific things - lots of 'people stuff', lots of sensory stuff. It means I can schedule slack days as I know my brain won't be up to anything particularly intellectual until the following evening.
The sympathy/empathy thing appears to be quite complex. We're a bit dodgy at cognitive empathy (when people are quite difficult to read) but emotional empathy once we twig can be quite intense. If someone is visibly upset and crying, I will often cry too and feel their distress, and I know other autistic people have reported the same thing. There's also some research suggesting that it works both ways - we don't pick up non-autistics' feelings that well sometimes, but they don't pick up ours either (Damian Milton has done some sociological work on this, and Noah Sasson and Brett Heasman are doing some interesting experimental work in the area, if you like researchy stuff).
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May 2019
10:50pm, 10 May 2019
26,286 posts
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Dave.O
Dooogs don't all Isralies have to do national service and don't they teach them Krav Maga? I'll tread carefully if I was you 
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May 2019
8:51am, 11 May 2019
6,401 posts
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Jono.
very interesting posts, thanks very much.
Joes 16 now and seems to want to express himself more, but not in a conversation, just wants us to listen - which is fine.
the journey for child services to adult services seems to resonate with him a lot - Mrs J's trying to change her hours in work to split up her week - the idea being that we get joe used to a varying routine and to a place where he feels comfortable / confident in his own home.
Work are being wankstains though - she only works bloody 8hrs (on a Saturday - work is very important to Mrs J, its her day, her 8hrs - joes never gone into respite so Mrs J has been his primary carer).
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