Autism

1 lurker | 90 watchers

decorum Jul 2019 10:33pm, 5 Jul 2019 3,579 posts	0 decorum My intent was to share what I believe was good news. Instead I seem to have caused stress and offence. I never have been much cop at interpersonal stuff and interpreting the readings between the lines, so I'll bow out of the thread rather than cause further issue. Please accept my sincere apologies.
halfpint Jul 2019 10:46pm, 5 Jul 2019 28,351 posts	0 halfpint Not at all decorum. I think what you are doing with your group is brilliant and all of your kids have a chance to thrive in their own way. That is a great thing and not necessarily achieved by all out of school activities or schools. I think the punishment comment hit a nerve with me and I apologise for changing the tone of the thread. Also not good at the interpersonal - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree as they say.
Jono. Jul 2019 7:10am, 6 Jul 2019 6,482 posts	0 Jono. I've always found your comments very constructive D, and TBH you mirror the efforts that many teachers put in at Joe's school. Joe used to go to a community sports session after school, which he loved / hated - then they let loose a teaching student who tried to be more constructive / change their routine = kick off, tears no more community sports. I've often thought that challenging children on the Spectrum isn't just about getting them to do things so they fit in, its so they can cope with the world. although Joe is very much a creature of habit, and has only broken his routine when he has wanted to revisit places school has taken him and twice when we've gotten him away on a proper holiday.
Tomsmum Jul 2019 12:37pm, 22 Jul 2019 2,139 posts	0 Tomsmum I would appreciate any thoughts on social anxiety. Not DS1 who has Aspergers but DS2 who is 13 and over the last 6 months or so has dropped out of doing anything but school. It’s not entirely school related, he would prefer never to leave the house but has such anxiety he is shaking when he thinks of going out especially round town where he might be seen by someone he knows (he managed Tesco with me yesterday) A while ago I thought he might be depressed and contacted the GP- who gave me websites to look at. But helping him is beyond me. Any ideas?
Jono. Jul 2019 12:45pm, 22 Jul 2019 6,493 posts	0 Jono. joes a bit like that - not to the extent of shaking, but has to pick his time to go into town. may briefly exchange a muted nod if he does see anyone he knows from school. I still think he can be overcome by how busy town can be and then there's the thing about not being able to get what he wants - he does a lot of shopping on the internet. 6th form is tuned with doing a lot of work with the students and preparing them for the outside world - not much help for a 13 year old TM.
halfpint Jul 2019 12:57pm, 22 Jul 2019 28,500 posts	0 halfpint We had an input a while back from a psychiatrist and his answer to all things anxiety was gradual desensitisation. This would involve increasing the social demand very gradually alongside helping him to identify strategies which help with the anxiety. I'd work on the strategies first before introducing any anxiety. What is he worried about? Unpredictabilty - i.e. not knowing who he might see or what might be expected of him? For some youngsters they need almost a script for social situations as they don't know what say. A 'starting a conversation' script and having a 'get out' script as well to politely extricate himself might also help. Sometimes it's worth engineering situations to practice the skills where you have a little control over it. For example, recruit a friend (mrs shanksi maybe) to bump into when you are out who knows what you are doing and will keep the interaction really brief (she might need some help with that :)) Actually another question - is he anxious about peers only or any social interaction? We often get anxious about kids not being sociable but school is a huge social demand in itself and I work on the basis that some youngsters can't handle any more on top of this. Sorry long response. Happy to discuss elsewhere if it helps.
Grast_girl Jul 2019 5:28pm, 22 Jul 2019 723 posts	0 Grast_girl When I was really struggling with anxiety it would come out as physical symptoms: hot flushes, urgent need to go to the toilet, sometimes vomiting. When I went to the doctor they prescribed a very low dose of propranolol (beta blocker), which probably acted as a placebo more than anything. It was enough to break the cycle I'd get into of "I'm anxious", "now I desperately need the loo about every 5 minutes", "my embarrassment about going to the loo all the time is making me more anxious" etc. That just helped with the basic symptoms, but I also used Paul McKenna's Self-confidence book (or more the accompanying CD), which I think is basically cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)/mindfullness and a bit of meditation. I can't say that I'm completely cured (I still get flashes of it in odd situations), but I can now analyse what is making me anxious and try to work around it. Sometimes that's working out exit strategies, researching venues wrt toilets, finding something to distract myself (currently a colouring app on my phone, but have tried learning Shakespearean sonnets, counting things I can see, hear, touch etc, silly games on my phone). Even at its worst I was still managing work, which I still don't fully understand other than maybe knowing that I was good at it was helpful to my self esteem.
WA Jul 2019 8:01pm, 22 Jul 2019 6,078 posts	0 WA SweetPea would refuse to go out, and scratch and thump herself to the point of drawing blood. When out, she frequently had panic attacks, vomiting and fainting when highly anxious. CAMHS has helped her no end- as HP says, it's about learning strategies to manage the anxiety when it comes on, and to recognise it before it takes full hold. She can tell us when she's feeling bad, and we do our best to find a quiet place for her. We also talk a lot more about what places may be like, so she's less likely to react to the environments that are very different. For example, if we're going to a concert, we talk about queues, security checks, large crowds, people being drunk and shouting. The 5 things strategy really seems to help her, breathing exercises don't.
Jono. Jul 2019 4:44pm, 24 Jul 2019 6,494 posts	0 Jono. its Joes eczema Grast Girl that shows he's in an agitated state, normally a good barometer.
swittle Aug 2019 5:07pm, 3 Aug 2019 55,909 posts	0 swittle What experiences have people had in helping ASD teenagers get into work? A former teaching colleague stopped me to ask for advice today. His nephew is at a specialist school FT and aged 16. He's had several poor experiences at some local mainstream schools. He has a good level of interest in accountancy and his aunt, an accountant, is helping him get familiar with Quick Books. The young man's maths is not great and the school seem resigned to him not achieving well. [This is only one side, of course]. His uncle has tried approaching accountancy firms [small to medium], asking for a placement or supported training but there's little interest. I'm trawling the 'net for websites but much of what I'm finding is, unsurprisingly, general in nature. While I was teaching, I often thought that schools and colleges were not always able to deliver what was advertised. Any guidance would be appreciated. Thanks.