Autism

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halfpint Nov 2019 2:00pm, 28 Nov 2019 29,371 posts	0 halfpint Getting a diagnosis is an emotional thing. Even though I was 100% sure he'd get the diagnosis I cried when QP got his. I think it was the realisation that it would be with him for life. It felt massive. The reality is that he is who he is, and he is doing fantastically well right now
Tomsmum Nov 2019 5:30pm, 28 Nov 2019 2,145 posts	0 Tomsmum Agreed, hopefully a diagnosis means you can move forward. An adult friend with autism posted this on FB and I thought some of you might be interested theaspergian.com
Flatlander Nov 2019 4:37pm, 30 Nov 2019 1,537 posts	0 Flatlander I have been following this thread for quite a few years, but previously not commented. An experience at the beginning of this year finally made me seek confirmation of what I have thought for many years, and I had an assessment for ASD at the beginning of last week. Under the DSM-V classification I meet diagnostic criteria for a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder Level 1 which is equivalent to what has previously been referred to as Asperger's Syndrome. As I am "quite mature" I don't think there is much I can contribute that hasn't already been written or is relevant to young persons. What I can offer are details of what the assessment process for an adult entails, so if anyone is going through that or thinking about it, I can help.
DingDocMerrily Nov 2019 4:55pm, 30 Nov 2019 31,193 posts	0 DingDocMerrily Flatlander I think what you do offer for the parents on here is hope. When my boys were diagnosed as hearing impaired meeting adults who had lived with the same problem made me realise that my children had much to offer and it didn't need to hold them back from success and happiness. Having met you I would suggest your success and happiness is something Amy parent would wish for their child.
Jono. Dec 2019 5:48pm, 1 Dec 2019 6,566 posts	0 Jono. very good points Doc, as a parent, no one gives you a book and says 'here you are this is how to deal with Autism (in our case) even now and probably a reflection of more discoveries Mrs J will tell me about new observations / explanations.
WA Dec 2019 8:30pm, 4 Dec 2019 6,366 posts	0 WA Popping in to ask for advice. SweetPea has been through quite a rocky couple of years with her mental health, and the wonderful team at CAMHS have helped her enormously. She asked a while ago if she might be autistic and wanted to go down the diagnosis route. I wasn't sure at first, but now think it would be helpful. Her CAMHS counsellor specialised in working with kids with autism/ autistic traits and felt that SweetPea was in that category. She's a high functioning teenager so diagnosis is not likely to be straightforward. We were put on the waiting list 2 years ago and have the first assessment booked for next week. SweetPea is now feeling in a better place generally, and has decided that she doesn't want the diagnosis after all. She doesn't want to be one of those people who excuses her behaviour with a label. I don't think she ever would be, but she is asking to be taken off the list and to cancel the appointment. She's got GCSEs this year and will then be leaving school for 6th form. Part of me thinks that if she turns out to need support (she's had panic attacks at every open day so far) she's more likely to get it with a diagnosis, but if she copes then no-one need know. After a 2 year wait, I'm reluctant to not attend, but I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. Those of you who have been diagnosed as adults, or whose kids were older- has it been useful? Has it changed things? (for better or for worse?) Thanks
halfpint Dec 2019 8:52pm, 4 Dec 2019 29,418 posts	0 halfpint QP was 13 at the point of diagnosis. We partly went down the diagnosis route because he knew he was different and had started to ask why just before transition to secondary. I suspect us having the conversation and me suggesting autism was enough to help him. However it also allowed him to access an autism base (although ultimately it was too late) and in theory he is on the waiting list for the transitions team who support YP with ASN into adulthood. He’s now at college and we had a meeting with the support team prior to him starting and he has a support plan but is doing bloody brilliantly. As an adult who self identifies it has made sense of so much of my life experience and helped my mental health. No diagnosis but just understanding myself better. I wonder if it’s worth encouraging SweetPea to attend the initial appointment just to discuss the process and ask about the benefits or otherwise of having a diagnosis vs self identifying. I found some resources re autistic girls/women on the Scottish autism website. She might find some of it useful.
WA Dec 2019 9:15pm, 4 Dec 2019 6,368 posts	0 WA That's helpful HP, thanks. SweetPea had an assembly at school and came home saying that's me, I want to know She's settled with a small friendship group at the mo, but they will split up next year- 5 into 4 different colleges. I'll talk to her again. I think she does have a pretty good understanding of herself, but my worry is that others may not, and a formal plan may be useful at this age. I'll look at the resources again too- remember you linking them before and I found them useful.
RunnyBunny Dec 2019 9:32am, 5 Dec 2019 997 posts	0 RunnyBunny I found that just self-identifying helped me manage stuff much better and recognise why some things caused problems for me. The diagnosis appointment was helpful because the clinical psychologist was able to give me some extra insight too. The formal diagnosis (aged 46) meant that work got me some coloured overlays for reading and sent me on some 'coping strategy' one-to-ones but TBH those didn't really tell me much I didn't already know (I came to the conclusion that for some things, I was better avoiding rather than coping - I can cope if I have to, but will be wiped out for a day afterwards, so I need to bear that in mind). When I've got to autistic research events with a wide range of ages, those who got diagnoses at a younger age often feel it landed them with a label they didn't want and led to bullying. I think kids spot difference and bully anyway (that's my experience). Adults tend to wish they'd had a diagnosis at school so they could have got the help they needed, but generally they weren't even self-identifying or even aware they might be autistic (I had absolutely no idea until age 43). Self-identifying is fine I think if you've got the flexibility to make things manageable for yourself. I have autistic students as an OU tutor - it's flagged up on their profile if they have a diagnosis so I'm aware of issues they might have, particularly anxiety around assignments and difficulties managing time/organising things, although I'll ask them if there are things they struggle with and find helpful anyway. Without that, I may not be aware there's anything going on. The OU is particularly geared up for students who don't fit the typical undergrad profile though. Some universities seem to be less accommodating, but there won't be much access to support without a diagnosis. I tend to disclose in the equal opportunities section of job applications, but I've come to the conclusion it's best avoided bringing up in job interviews. I'm not sure whether it's affected whether I've got jobs I've applied to since diagnosis, but where I've mentioned it in passing I've wondered if it's been a factor in not getting a job. When I got the diagnosis I'd been in both my jobs a year or so and got good feedback, so it was less of a risk. It's very difficult to tell whether you're being discriminated against, or whether you're just not as good as the other candidates, or whether you're being 'odd' during your interview and putting people off without them realising anything's underlying that. It's a difficult one - I think everyone is different as to what works for them, and it's just being aware that whatever you do, there are pros and cons.
WA Dec 2019 5:27pm, 9 Dec 2019 6,375 posts	0 WA Thanks for all your responses both on thread and personally. The general consensus seems to be that a diagnosis would help her to access support at 6th form and uni and beyond if needed We went to the appointment today and chatted through it again with the psychologist there. She advised against diagnosis if SweetPea is considering a career in the armed forces, but felt that it may be helpful in other situations. She also confirmed that it doesn't have to be disclosed on application forms. So we stayed and went through the questions. We'll see. The chap I was with thinks she will be sub threshold. She doesn't have a lot of the more obviously diagnostic traits (communication skills developed normally, eye contact has always been normal, no obvious obsessive behaviours. Unless you count having to step out of bed with your left foot first) It's done now.