Autism

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JK chameleon Mar 2023 3:34pm, 16 Mar 2023 17,518 posts	0 JK chameleon In one of my first jobs I was spoken to by my manager for coming across as too abrupt in my emails. I was shocked as I had no idea my writing style was being taken the wrong way, I just naturally strip out all the “unnecessary” stuff when I write. I would make a terrible novelist. Yup, my exact experience. I had no idea how much I was upsetting people by not flowering up the language. One of my more awkward team members (ASD status unknown, but would not be a surprise) has taken criticism of her rude emails to heart, and now puts please in multiple times in a sentence. It comes across as insincere, and I wonder whether people see her as being ruder this way...
Fragile Do Not Bend Mar 2023 3:34pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,846 posts	0 Fragile Do Not Bend Thanks for the link Lizzie, I’m going to consider that. Having looked at the example GP letter, I would feel I’d need to add a note apologising for the forthright tone of the letter. 😅
Fragile Do Not Bend Mar 2023 3:40pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,847 posts	0 Fragile Do Not Bend I’m finding learning about other people’s experiences of autism is really helpful (e.g. this thread and the Chris Packham programme). When I’ve looked at autism questionnaires before I wasn’t sure if I did some of the things or not, but when I read of other people’s specific experiences I find myself saying “yes actually, I do do that”.
DocM Mar 2023 4:09pm, 16 Mar 2023 47,386 posts	0 DocM jelly. Thank you for your contributions here and elsewhere on fetch. I'm on a steep.learning curve while trying to help my adult child who has recently been diagnosed. All opinions and experiences are enlightening to me. DeeGee We managed to get my adult child diagnosed quite quickly but it cost us a fortune. We went via a psychiatric assessment ( they were in quite a bad way). It has made a huge difference to them and for us worth the dent in the bank balance. If we had continued to wait for the NHS assessment we would still have years to wait and I fear that they would not have made it before something awful happened.
1step2far Mar 2023 4:17pm, 16 Mar 2023 7,358 posts	0 1step2far I went private through Autism Anglia, cost £1500 but certainly worth it. Was worried at the time I wouldn't meet the threshold for diagnosis... needn't have worried, I was well over. 😂🤦‍♂️ Glad they got sorted Doc, so hard
Raemond Mar 2023 4:27pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,232 posts	0 Raemond In one of my first jobs I was spoken to by my manager for coming across as too abrupt in my emails. I was shocked as I had no idea my writing style was being taken the wrong way, I just naturally strip out all the “unnecessary” stuff when I write. I would make a terrible novelist. Yup, my exact experience. I had no idea how much I was upsetting people by not flowering up the language. One of my more awkward team members (ASD status unknown, but would not be a surprise) has taken criticism of her rude emails to heart, and now puts please in multiple times in a sentence. It comes across as insincere, and I wonder whether people see her as being ruder this way... I find it hideously annoying when people write huge long emails (or, even worse, interject orally in a meeting. Fnarr), and have absolutely nothing of substance to say. Or they may have one point but lose it in the guff, or repeat it multiple times. That seems very rude, to me; to take up people's time but contribute nothing of use.
JK chameleon Mar 2023 4:32pm, 16 Mar 2023 17,519 posts	0 JK chameleon I’m finding learning about other people’s experiences of autism is really helpful (e.g. this thread and the Chris Packham programme). When I’ve looked at autism questionnaires before I wasn’t sure if I did some of the things or not, but when I read of other people’s specific experiences I find myself saying “yes actually, I do do that”. I should add a disclaimer - I'm not currently diagnosed. And given how difficult it is to get a diagnosis, I don't wish to clog the system, so others more in need can get sorted. But I'd bet my future house that I am firmly on the spectrum - either that or there's a lot of coincidences and I'm a total git... I'm probably a total git regardless of my status...
Raemond Mar 2023 4:49pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,233 posts	0 Raemond It is entirely possible to be both autistic, and an arsehole, JK, but from what I've seen elsefetch you don't appear to fall in the latter category. I'm not suggesting that anyone else here does, either, I hasten to add. I'm thinking more my older sibling and various other non Fetchies I've encountered over the years who wield their diagnosis to beat others down, and believe it exempts them from making any effort at all.
Fragile Do Not Bend Mar 2023 4:57pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,848 posts	0 Fragile Do Not Bend Same here JK, apart from the bit about being a git 😅 Want to be diagnosed but at the same time don’t want to for the same reason as you.
Raemond Mar 2023 5:19pm, 16 Mar 2023 10,234 posts	0 Raemond I must say I've had quite a struggle first recognising, and now trying to unlearn, my internalised ableism, following accepting the ASD mantle. Yes, being autism does genuinely make it harder for me to do certain things, it's not just a problem with the silly rules and expectations that neurotypical people have built up around me. My reluctance to accept that is ableism, pure and simple. Although a lot of it is, also, TK he silly rules and expectations. Pretty much everywhere else in the animal world, making deliberate and direct eye contact is a threat or a power play, but suuuuuuure, neurotypical people, we're the weird ones for not liking it...