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Support thread for parents of teenagers

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Surrey Phil Apr 2021 12:28pm, 2 Apr 2021 6,059 posts	0 Surrey Phil 16-year old is currently having an MRI at Eastbourne Hospital. He's been complaining of headaches since mid-February amongst other ailments. He does get very anxious and various doctors have told him that they are just tension headaches. However, his drama queen antics in believing that he has a brain tumour means that he has got his MRI wish. Personally, the constant whining and the only thing he is talking about is getting on my nerves. Sorry if this sounds like an unsympathetic father but my wife feels the same albeit more sympathetically. Hopefully, the MRI will put his mind at rest even if it proves to him that there is absolutely nothing wrong with his head.
Serendippily Apr 2021 12:42pm, 2 Apr 2021 21,438 posts	0 Serendippily It is worth ruling it out. Most of c9 asthma appears to link back to shallow breathing which in itself a trigger for asthma and means the medication is less effective. The original root may be the anxiety of primary school, which was a big adjustment for an observant semi introvert who likes life to work to logic and rules, but also scoliosis. It’s a lot easier now it makes more sense. We are awaiting physio to see if they can help with deeper breathing which I still think is terribly nice of nhs. I’d have dismissed her with a “try breathing properly” about a year ago
LindsD Apr 2021 1:11pm, 2 Apr 2021 46,112 posts	0 LindsD My Dad had quite severe asthma as a result of industrial exposure to chemicals and found great help in breathing techniques. He was able to reduce his reliance on drugs quite significantly. Phil, that's what this thread is for. I'd be the same. SD went through a period of quite bad health anxiety around the same age, but is fine now (22). WA, I know what you mean. Billy has no plan and whilst he's not the anxious type, it is bothering him.
Meglet Apr 2021 1:27pm, 2 Apr 2021 21,708 posts	0 Meglet My oldest got really stressed when many of her friends had the personal statement written and in, and had offers back before she’d hardly started hers, as she’d had other commitments. We sat down together and sorted it out. Keeping up with everyone else is exhausting and they don’t realise at that point that it’s not actually necessary and many people are just bluster. I agree with the others that not applying immediately might be a better idea, uni will always be there, and there are still likely to be restrictions on this year’s freshers.
DocM Apr 2021 2:33pm, 2 Apr 2021 40,773 posts	0 DocM on an entirely different note, my two 18 year olds are having 4 friends around to the garden today. That save me doing the annual "tidy the patio at the start of the year" cos they have done it as their friends are coming.
halfpint Apr 2021 7:48pm, 2 Apr 2021 34,550 posts	0 halfpint QP has also been anxious about the future. A while back he had a total meltdown and de lares that he should know what he wants to do with the rest of his life. He knows I took until my late 30s to get my shit together and I still don’t know what I want half the time. We’ve settled on applying for the degree course at his current place but looking at other options and deciding later. Breaking things into small manageable targets is sometimes helpful.
halfpint Apr 2021 7:48pm, 2 Apr 2021 34,551 posts	0 halfpint *Declared
ThorntonRunner Apr 2021 8:32pm, 2 Apr 2021 4,792 posts	0 ThorntonRunner My eldest is 25 now. At A levels he thought he wanted to be a chemistry teacher, and got a uni place to study chemistry. However he decided to take a gap year which he spent running the children's work at the church he attended. This made him realise that secondary school teaching wasn't what he wanted to do. For a couple of years he stayed working at the church on a semi-paid, semi-voluntary basis, but then got a traineeship at an outdoor activity centre. He's now an instructor there and absolutely loves it. My younger son is 23. He dropped out of school as he turned 18 due to mental health issues with just gcse qualifications. Its taken him a while to get on his feet but this year has started working at a dog day care centre / kennels - and is thoroughly enjoying it. My parents were keen that I should make the most of my education (without being pushy), and through their encouragement and the dedication of my teachers I ended up studying Maths at Oxford. I initially wanted the same for my two, but have come to realise that despite the increased focus on the academic route there are many ways for a young person to find fulfilment, that it can take time to find their place, but it can be worth the wait
LindsD Apr 2021 8:54pm, 2 Apr 2021 46,127 posts	0 LindsD Exactly that for me too.
WA Apr 2021 9:07pm, 2 Apr 2021 8,651 posts	0 WA Thank you all, it's really interesting to hear different experiences. SweetPea and I tend to have our best conversations either when on a walk or in the car (probably due to lack of other distractions). I'll try and have a chat with her and share your experiences