Meaningless product descriptions

5 lurkers | 123 watchers

Nellers Oct 2011 10:15pm, 11 Oct 2011 18,669 posts	0 Nellers Running without having washed for a day or 2 will provide you with an isolated training environment.
Wine Legs Oct 2011 8:52am, 24 Oct 2011 2,351 posts	0 Wine Legs oh yes... "Specially designed with our Celu‐Lite™ technology, they work to reduce body fat and the visible appearance of cellulite by using your natural body heat to warm your muscles by increasing your perspiration with the effect of potentially reducing 2 jean sizes in 2 weeks." "Celu‐Lite™ technology reflects back the heat naturally generated by the body to promote deeper warming of your tissue leading to higher levels of perspiration and therefore breaking down fat and toxins that contribute to the appearance of cellulite. " How do higher levels of perspiraton break down fat? zaggora.com
Nellers Oct 2011 9:03am, 24 Oct 2011 18,798 posts	0 Nellers WL, it's obvious. When you do exercise you sweat AND you burn fat, therefore the causal connection is not exercise to fat burning. It's sweating to fat burning! It's so obvious now.
Wine Legs Nov 2011 4:33pm, 20 Nov 2011 2,436 posts	0 Wine Legs Just saw an advert for Herbal Essence shampoo... Apparently its new formula has 'water activated' silkening properties. I'd certainly hope my shampoo was water activated.
Velociraptor Nov 2011 4:51pm, 20 Nov 2011 18,313 posts	0 Velociraptor The writer of the text for the "Top 10 Fitness Gifts for Christmas" in the Daily Telegraph must have snorted a line of Valium before setting about the task. There are some seriously bad explanations of what the yoga mats and heart rate monitors are for. As an example, kettlebells: "These weights are similar to the more common dumbbells but focus mainly on building core strength, offering a great variety of exercises required to improve at many exercises and sports." (Who the f*ck is going to leave a set of neatly-wrapped kettlebells under the tree anyway? Even out here in the sticks they're SO last year's exercise gimmick.)
Nellers Nov 2011 5:26pm, 20 Nov 2011 19,124 posts	0 Nellers I might give someone special a new kettle for christmas, V'Rap, but not Kettlebells.;-)
ChrisHB Jan 2012 5:40pm, 10 Jan 2012 6,946 posts	0 ChrisHB "Thousands of years of running evolution are harnessed by Merrell’s cutting-edge barefoot shoe-tech." (from RW) I think what they're trying to say is that the shoe does damn-all but they've invested so much in its marketing that the high price (£85-£95) is fully justified. "Runner's World takes no responsibility for the accuracy or otherwise of the information provided by the sponsor."
GregP Jan 2012 6:09pm, 10 Jan 2012 55,973 posts	0 GregP Good work, Chris. Takes me back to the glory days of best before dates on Volvic.
ChrisHB Jan 2012 12:12pm, 26 Jan 2012 7,090 posts	0 ChrisHB Here's a fearsome product name. i won't follow the link or I'll be plagued with adverts for women's sports kit whenever I browse. "Nike Lady Team Race Boy Shorts"
GregP Jan 2012 10:18pm, 26 Jan 2012 56,645 posts	0 GregP My word Could be worse. "Nike Team Race Short Lady Boys", for example.