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Dec 2020
7:00pm, 20 Dec 2020
38 posts
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Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Jayfi
An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.
The two gentlemen were talking and one said, 'Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. . . I would recommend it very highly.'
The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'
The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'
'Do you mean a rose?'
'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?'
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Dec 2020
7:06pm, 20 Dec 2020
953 posts
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Muttley
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Dec 2020
7:21pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,925 posts
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daz1927
I got my secretary some Bristol Cream for Christmas.
But she won't let me rub it on....
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Dec 2020
7:23pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,926 posts
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daz1927
I was getting a hand job off my new girlfriend when I asked, "How are you so good at this?"
"Years of practice," she replied.
"Bit of a player in your day?" I laughed.
"No, I used to be a Bloke."
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Dec 2020
7:24pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,927 posts
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daz1927
I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the fucking bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for, and what happens Christmas morning?
That fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit for it!
I suppose it was my fault for marrying her....
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Dec 2020
7:26pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,928 posts
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daz1927
Ladies, will you please stop asking Santa for the perfect man.
I've nearly been kidnapped three fucking times today!
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Dec 2020
8:06pm, 20 Dec 2020
10,330 posts
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lammo
Welcome back Daz
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Dec 2020
8:51pm, 20 Dec 2020
47,783 posts
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McGoohan
I came home drunk last night and didn't want to wake anyone up so I just stuck two French pancakes to my feet and crêped up the stairs!
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Dec 2020
8:53pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,929 posts
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daz1927
Cheers Lammo 👍
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Dec 2020
8:53pm, 20 Dec 2020
5,930 posts
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daz1927
Me: ‘Doctor, I’m having a problem with premature ejaculation.’
Doctor: ‘Oh dear! How does your partner feel about that?’
Me: ‘Well, at first she took it on the chin, but now it’s getting on her tits!’
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021