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Sep 2019
10:32pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,264 posts
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McGoohan
Today my book " The best Places To Have Kinky And Exciting Sex" was published.. ..It will be on bookshelves on Monday..Then on top of the washing machine on Tuesday... .Wednesday it's on the back seat of the car.... Thursdays the kitchen table..
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Sep 2019
10:37pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,265 posts
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McGoohan
I need to re-home a dog. It's a small terrier, and tends to bark a lot. If you're interested, let me know and I'll jump over next door's fence and get it for you.
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Sep 2019
10:37pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,266 posts
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McGoohan
If you want to play a real life version of Pac-Man then go to DFS and try and avoid the salesman.
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Sep 2019
10:38pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,267 posts
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McGoohan
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus asks for a table for 26.
The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.”
Jesus says, “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
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Sep 2019
10:38pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,268 posts
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McGoohan
My extra sensitive toothpaste doesn't like it when I use other toothpastes.
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Sep 2019
10:40pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,269 posts
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McGoohan
Having trouble understanding top heavy fractions?
Our helpline is open 24/7.
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Sep 2019
10:41pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,270 posts
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McGoohan
We're about to have a bad spell of wether.
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Sep 2019
10:42pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,271 posts
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McGoohan
Interviewer: "Describe yourself in three words."
Me: "Efficient."
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Sep 2019
10:43pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,272 posts
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McGoohan
Help! I’m playing Scrabble with Midge Ure. I’ve only got 4 letters left, but they mean nothing to me: OVNR.
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Sep 2019
10:48pm, 22 Sep 2019
41,273 posts
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McGoohan
Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021