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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

2 lurkers | 148 watchers
jabberknitmas
jabberknitmas
Dec 2024
9:47pm, 10 Dec 2024
4,578 posts
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jabberknitmas
That sounds very weird, but perhaps in keeping with the many peculiar services offered when you organise a funeral/cremation. A fingerprint of the deceased on a pendant or ring? The ashes sealed into a locket or even made into a diamond?
My Mum's ashes will be staying firmly in an upstairs cupboard for the festive season.

Will have to decide what to do with them at some point though. Their disposal was the only thing she didn't tell me what she wanted me to do with them, she left full instructions for everything else.
3FrenchMs
3FrenchMs
Dec 2024
12:16am, 11 Dec 2024
25,364 posts
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3FrenchMs
I think all my predecessors' ashes went onto the crematorium ash bucket.
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Dec 2024
6:58am, 11 Dec 2024
7,643 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Definitely weird.

When FiL we found it worked well to have a Xmas that was very different to those he and MiL had enjoyed together for years. We remembered and toasted him but the day wasn't then full of things that triggered specific memories if you know what I mean?
christmasmental
christmasmental
Dec 2024
7:39am, 11 Dec 2024
766 posts
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christmasmental
Thanks everyone :) we’ll do a committal service in the new year so haven’t had the chance to say good byes yet.

LMH, that sounds lovely :)
Grast_girl
Grast_girl
Dec 2024
8:13am, 11 Dec 2024
3,207 posts
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Grast_girl
That's what we did when a couple of family elders passed away, had Christmas elsewhere so there were no triggers. Whether it helped or not is hard to say.
macca 53
macca 53
Dec 2024
4:56pm, 11 Dec 2024
33,089 posts
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macca 53
That’s very weird, we’ve told our kids that when our time comes (or specifically the last surviving one of us) to leave our ashes at the crem.

We kept FiL’s for the four years until MiL died and then flew to Majorca and had (to have a) nice undertaker comingle their ashes and put them in a biodegradable urn and popped them in the sea off their favourite beach.

A bit late but would you add me to your buddy list @PaulaMc
Merry Lip Gloss
Merry Lip Gloss
Dec 2024
5:01pm, 11 Dec 2024
79,081 posts
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Merry Lip Gloss
Hopefully only a glitch but because everyone has be dragging their feet with the probate and such like the house hasn’t gone through as the couple who are 🤞🤞🤞🤞buying it now has an expired mortgage proposal. They will need to apply again. What a bloody Carry on.
LindsD
LindsD
Dec 2024
5:02pm, 11 Dec 2024
71,497 posts
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LindsD
We had that. It was sorted within a couple of days. Hopefully will be for you too xx
Merry Lip Gloss
Merry Lip Gloss
Dec 2024
5:10pm, 11 Dec 2024
79,083 posts
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Merry Lip Gloss
Hope so thanks. This has been dragging on since February although they do say some of his estate can now be distributed.
Little Miss Happy
Little Miss Happy
Dec 2024
5:29pm, 11 Dec 2024
7,644 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Hope it's soon sorted LG.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk
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Useful Links

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