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4 Aug
4:06pm, 4 Aug 2024
69,138 posts
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LindsD
That sounds v tough
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4 Aug
4:09pm, 4 Aug 2024
54,346 posts
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McGoohan
Sounds hard Baz.
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4 Aug
5:57pm, 4 Aug 2024
7,297 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope that this results in MiL ending up living somewhere that her needs can be met without you or Mrs Baz being blamed.
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4 Aug
7:00pm, 4 Aug 2024
27,147 posts
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Bazoaxe
We had a lovely visit to see MiL today. She loved seeing us, hearing about our trip, seeing the photos and seeing the jewellery haul the girls had :-). In fact I would go as far as to say that MiL was no worse than she was two weeks ago, arguably better
She described her stay as being like her own holiday and was delighted she had seen her son each and every day, albeit she did mix names up. There were also a few other signs of confusion
We find ourselves confused that the doctors based largely on medical judgement have concluded she has bladder cancer that has spread and has only weeks to live. Despite being warned to expect a deterioration, she is exactly as she has been for the last c24 months
It wasn’t obvious to us what the complex care needs are and how they differ from before. She was also a little vague on whether or not she has been in any pain
However between the doctor and BiL they seem to have agreed she cannot go home and needs to go to end of life care, quite possibly in a place we know she clearly does not wish to be placed in.
It is hard to get our hearse around this turn of events based on what we see. We do believe she probably does have bladder cancer, but without any of the checks, how do they know it’s as advanced as they think. Is there a risk MiL ends up in an end if life care for quite a long time.
Mrs axe needs to speak to the consultant tomorrow to find out more. The nurses didnt know details and said it’s best if we go in person, but during the working day. Not easy when you are just back from holiday, work full time and in Mrs Axes case have an employer that makes taking any time off almost impossible.
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4 Aug
7:06pm, 4 Aug 2024
19,477 posts
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Mandymoo
That sounds very concerning Baz. Hope Mrs Axe is able to get some answers
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4 Aug
7:41pm, 4 Aug 2024
17,579 posts
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jda
Sounds like some sort of cock-up to me.
We also found the hospital very unhelpful and awkward to deal with. They expected my wife to drive an hour merely to attempt to intercept the consultant during their round. Not for a guaranteed appointment, and they seemed to think that asking the consultant to phone up at their convenience was a bit of an imposition. They also invented all sorts of nonsense when trying to strong-arm my wife into agreeing to a DNAR.
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4 Aug
9:52pm, 4 Aug 2024
69,144 posts
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LindsD
Sounds very worrying.
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5 Aug
6:08am, 5 Aug 2024
7,298 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Baz - Mrs Axe could try calling the consultants secretary and asking for a telephone call from him/details of investigations they've done/prognosis and plan.
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5 Aug
1:10pm, 5 Aug 2024
2,762 posts
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CK2
Yes, we found arranging calls from the consultant occasionally possible, although we got most news (particularly the more difficult conversations) when we visited in person. Fortunately I have an understanding employer. That sounds so difficult for Mrs Axe.
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5 Aug
7:40pm, 5 Aug 2024
6,064 posts
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Ally-C
My old dear phoned me there to say she thinks my sister is pregnant and she’s gonnae be a granny at last. My sister is 60 next birthday; do you laugh or cry?
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The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
