Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

1 lurker | 140 watchers

macca 53 15 Mar 9:23pm, 15 Mar 2024 32,276 posts	0 macca 53 [nowt so queer as folk!]
LindsD 15 Mar 9:49pm, 15 Mar 2024 67,191 posts	0 LindsD [She's got no logic circuits left]
jda 15 Mar 10:08pm, 15 Mar 2024 16,697 posts	0 jda FiL has reportedly managed to stand briefly, with the aid of a frame to hold onto. Must admit our first reaction on hearing that was a brief moment of panic at the thought that he might recover enough to leave the care home. No real danger of that though, he's a long way off both mentally and physically now. He did however ask after his house yesterday for the first time since he's been there. My wife answered honestly (some might say brutally!), which probably wouldn't have been my approach, but as she said, if he's going to ask questions, there's no reason why they shouldn't be answered honestly.
LindsD 16 Mar 6:34am, 16 Mar 2024 67,193 posts	0 LindsD Fair enough. Good that he is working on mobility though.
Bazoaxe 17 Mar 6:04pm, 17 Mar 2024 26,461 posts	0 Bazoaxe I won’t go In To details but it was a pretty grim visit to see MiL today with the whole time being spent cleaning Mil was pretty upset especially at what we had to do. Very thankful though as well. She did say she didn’t know what to do and Mrs axe mentioned care maybe being an option. The response was again quite an emphatic no.
LindsD 17 Mar 11:37pm, 17 Mar 2024 67,213 posts	0 LindsD I'm sorry
Little Miss Happy 18 Mar 6:20am, 18 Mar 2024 7,026 posts	0 Little Miss Happy Such a difficult situation Baz.
Alice the Camel 18 Mar 7:33am, 18 Mar 2024 16,567 posts	0 Alice the Camel Awful for you all.
Lip Gloss 18 Mar 7:56am, 18 Mar 2024 74,728 posts	0 Lip Gloss Difficult for you but if MiL is so upset at you having to be the ones cleaning up why is she so against realising it’s time to get the help 24/7. Such a sad situation
McGoohan 18 Mar 8:02am, 18 Mar 2024 53,865 posts	0 McGoohan Cognitive dissonance I think. We get similar push-back from my MiL. The evidence can be clear there's a problem but she won't accept any solution but her own. And that's usually just 'leave me alone, we don't need any help'... followed a short while later by a phone call to say, 'We've run out of X'. In fact I think my MiL doesn't think that help from family members is 'help' as such. It's invisible to her which is why she thinks she can end all care company help and still be independent.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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