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7 Mar
2:44pm, 7 Mar 2024
7,337 posts
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ThorntonRunner
I expect we will for selling mum's flat, but I can do most of the rest without - I think I blitzed 8 organisations this morning - utilities, banks and pensions, just one of them *might* want probate, although as that's the electricity supplier I suspect their customer services were wrong. A couple wanted copies of mum's will that appoints me as an executor
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7 Mar
5:44pm, 7 Mar 2024
18,514 posts
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Mandymoo
Thankfully Jen was very organised. We had a list of details of pensions etc, POA all in place and details of where wills were kept etc.
Probate is being dealt with by the Co-op and they will also set up the trust account that is yo be set up with regard to half the house etc
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7 Mar
9:16pm, 7 Mar 2024
7,338 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Similar with mum and dad. They'd been through with me where their documents were so everything has been to hand. We're helped by their finances being very simple - a couple of current accounts and a credit card account which is cleared every month - there are no investments. Having activated the financial poa a few weeks ago and discussed with mum I was going to set up an isa for her and transfer some money around, but events overtook us
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8 Mar
11:08am, 8 Mar 2024
4,494 posts
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jabberknit
These sensible and thoughtful parents are giving us a good example of what we should be doing - once Mum's funeral is over and her estate sorted, Mr JK and I have it at the top of our own To Do List to set up PoAs, revisit wills, etc.
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8 Mar
3:40pm, 8 Mar 2024
12,453 posts
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leaguefreak
Yes I intend to have a good legal sort when mum's estate is wound up.
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13 Mar
9:38am, 13 Mar 2024
67,129 posts
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LindsD
Mum had a scan at the weekend that showed an ovarian cyst. This is possibly what's causing her symptoms though we don't know for sure. She has been referred for fast track follow-up but is now in a spin because she is going up north on Sat for a week. As she is convinced she can't travel by train she is getting a lift there and back - even though she did travel by train for Billy's 21st and it was fine. Long WhatsApp chat between her and me and my sister included this:
Me: can you get someone to check your post while you are away?
Mum: Yes, V will do it but how would I get back?
Me: On the (fucking) train (I didn't say fucking).
FFS. Why is she so helpless? Why can't she get the fucking train? Why does she have to be driven around like the fucking Queen? I'm SO FRUSTRATED
[I know all the answers btw. I know that anxiety is not logical. I understand what it's like to feel like you can't do the most simple of tasks. I really do. I just needed to vent]
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13 Mar
9:39am, 13 Mar 2024
67,130 posts
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LindsD
She's going up north to where we're from to see old friends who she may not be able to see again as they all have various complex health needs. It's not *just* a holiday.
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13 Mar
9:48am, 13 Mar 2024
53,845 posts
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McGoohan
From what I've seen in my own il-laws, there's a constant narrowing in perceptions of one's own abilities. MiL would be telling people, 'Oh we go for two mile walks most days of the week' and then in reality couldn't actually make it to the shop 200 yards away.
They used to have a driver took them out places but MiL even put paid to that. The only time they have left the house in about the last five+ years - and I accept Covid was a big factor in the middle - was to go for medical appointments, driven by somewhere else.
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13 Mar
9:50am, 13 Mar 2024
67,131 posts
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LindsD
Good to know it's not just my mother. It's so frustrating that she is allowing her world to be so narrowed, but also that she is SOOOO dependent on other people, including me. I don't know why it bothers me so much. I think it's partly because I'm in a foul mood anyhow plus being so dependent is one my worst fears.
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13 Mar
9:51am, 13 Mar 2024
53,846 posts
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McGoohan
Actually, thinking about it, MiL slowly withdrew any responsibility for doing anything for herself since she was about my age. Liebling's sister has been choosing all her library books for about 20 years! I think that has only speeded up her cognitive decline.
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The Sandwich Generation - Aged Ps and children to care for?
Jun 2023
