Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

5 lurkers | 140 watchers
7 Mar
7:41am, 7 Mar 2024
12,448 posts
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leaguefreak
Sorry it's still hard Baz.

My father in law is doing very well after his stroke but he and mother in law still refuse to get the heating in their house sorted (it's warm but they rely on electric heaters in each room which will be no good if either of them lose any of their mobility). They also see no urgency in setting up a power of attorney which worries me given how sudden change could he after a second stroke.

It's weird because day to day they are totally fine and we don't do any caring but having been through this with my mum Mr LF can see what may be ahead. My mum was a bugger but at least she set everything up legally well in advance.
7 Mar
8:09am, 7 Mar 2024
7,336 posts
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ThorntonRunner
Went into Nationwide yesterday to notify of mum's death. Lady we saw did a double take when I gave our surname as it connected that she'd seen us only just over a month ago to activate mum's financial poa.
Must admit it was only after dad's death two years ago that we set up poa for mum, but we did take the opportunity to set up ours at the same time
7 Mar
8:48am, 7 Mar 2024
49,541 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Backlog in Scotland is about 9 months for PoA to be logged with office of the public guardian. I have discovered! :-) G
jda
7 Mar
8:56am, 7 Mar 2024
16,641 posts
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jda
Even if applied for in the nick of time (“we’ll do it when we need to”) that’s still probably too slow to be useful.

Ours came through promptly in England, inside the estimate of whatever it was (6 weeks maybe?)
7 Mar
9:03am, 7 Mar 2024
74,478 posts
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Lip Gloss
Dad was stubborn and never did his hence the hood up we have .
7 Mar
9:03am, 7 Mar 2024
74,479 posts
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Lip Gloss
*hold*
7 Mar
9:27am, 7 Mar 2024
4,493 posts
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jabberknit
Condolences to those who've lost their elderlies, it's always a sad time.

I was lucky that my Mum was incredibly sensible and well-organised, and set up her PoA well before the law changed in 2008. We had an older version, an 'Enduring PoA', which could be used without being registered until the donor was deemed to have lost mental capacity. I was in the process of registering it when she died, so didn't actually have to do it.

For those just starting to deal with the estates of their loved ones, two things I've learned in the last couple of weeks are that PoA dies with the person, so you can no longer do anything with their accounts until the estate's been sorted, and also that you don't necessarily need probate - it seems to depend on what the companies you're dealing with require. Mind you, my Mum hasn't left loads of money (we had to sell her house to pay for her care over the last few years), just relatively small amounts of savings in a few different accounts.
jda
7 Mar
9:48am, 7 Mar 2024
16,644 posts
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jda
Yes the PoA dying with the person is an important detail to remember, but very logical when you remember that the attorney is acting strictly on behalf of the donor, and not as some sort of independent operator on their affairs. So all financial stuff stops on death, it becomes the executor's role rather than the attorney's.
7 Mar
10:59am, 7 Mar 2024
10,863 posts
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Fields
My dad did one of the P of A wrong so he’s had to redo it
7 Mar
11:06am, 7 Mar 2024
74,481 posts
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Lip Gloss
We had to apply for probate

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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