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Dec 2023
8:02am, 24 Dec 2023
12,477 posts
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PaulaMc
We will visit MiL and FiL tomorrow morning on the way to Daughter’s. SiL and her family will have lunch with them which means setting up a full dinner table for 6 adults on a tiny landing outside the bedrooms. Someone will be at risk of falling backwards down the stairs if they don’t get the chairs Just Right. It’s there only way to do it though as MiL can’t get downstairs anymore.
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Dec 2023
8:51am, 24 Dec 2023
65,672 posts
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LindsD
Thinking of everyone
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Dec 2023
9:28am, 24 Dec 2023
6,809 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Hope it's more good than challenging CK2.
Make sure you're not the one sitting with your back to the landing Paula!
Not looking forward to the next two days - at MiL's tomorrow with BiL, not SiL expected to put in a guest appearance at an unspecified time, then MiL here on Boxing Day and NYD as I couldn't leave her on her own the first year that FiL isn't actually here at all. Not that either of her sons had given it a thought. <<sigh>> It might not be quite as bad if after nearly 20 years she hadn't apparently forgotten what I can and cannot eat (not as a fad but because it makes me ill) so I will have to politely navigate the meal because I'd rather do that than upset her by telling her or taking stuff I can have so that's my fault really.
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Dec 2023
9:33am, 24 Dec 2023
50,062 posts
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EvilPixie
Hugs to all, wishing you the strength you need to fa e any challenges and some peaceful me time
Thank you for all the support this year, you’re all wonderful xxx
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Dec 2023
9:36am, 24 Dec 2023
53,479 posts
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McGoohan
A brief update:
- MiL is going to have an operation soon after Christmas
- This will entail a night (or two) in hospital
- She's refusing to have it done if it means we get someone from the care agency stay with FiL rather than one of her children stay with him
- We have capitulated on that and Liebling and one of her sisters will be staying two nights
- MIL may need a further, more serious operation after that which would have a recovery of 6-8 weeks. Probably more in her case as she's so old and already has other health issues.
- Live-in care is absolutely required as she won't physically be able to do anything in that time
- She has said she will refuse the operation in that case (in which case, she will probably die and FiL will HAVE to go into a care home but this time without her because she'll be dead)
- ... that is of course unless one of us looks after her 24/7 for 6... 8... 10... more weeks
I know she's scared but she completely lacks rational thought and plays the emotional blackmail card Every Single Time.
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Dec 2023
9:37am, 24 Dec 2023
65,680 posts
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LindsD
Oh LMH. 
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Dec 2023
9:40am, 24 Dec 2023
65,681 posts
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LindsD
Jeez McG, that's tough. Amd looks after FiL for all that time presumably also.
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Dec 2023
9:50am, 24 Dec 2023
5,722 posts
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icemaiden
McG, that's so hard. You are allowed to say "we can't do that" and get outside help. No one will think badly of you for doing so.
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Dec 2023
9:59am, 24 Dec 2023
2,489 posts
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CK2
That sounds horrible McG and, I know it’s tough to say no (and I’m rubbish at it) but I agree with icemaiden as that much support is untenable from the family.
Thank you for all the support this year, you’re all wonderful xxx
Agreed. It’s definitely seen me through some dark times.
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Dec 2023
9:59am, 24 Dec 2023
53,480 posts
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McGoohan
Yes, Linds, I suppose that's the main thing, looking after FiL. Liebling looked after him a couple of days ago while MiL went for a pre-op meeting. He is really hard to deal with for even a short time. He can barely speak but talks in wordless non-sequiters and half-words constantly and follows you around, unable to settle.
And this is why professional carers exist. Christ knows why the government regards that as unskilled work. It's one of the most skilled jobs I can think of.
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