Meaningless product descriptions

124 watchers

Velociraptor Jun 2017 10:12pm, 7 Jun 2017 36,315 posts	0 Velociraptor Well, they seem to have sold out The bath bomb cosies I knitted a few years ago are still going strong
decorum Jun 2017 11:40pm, 12 Jun 2017 2,096 posts	0 decorum Pocket Wick is a 100% natural beeswax-covered 20ft wick - a safer alternative to chemical lighters and ideally suited to any task that requires a flame. Pocket Wick is waterproof and perfect for lighting anything and everything. It is perfect for: Pipes Pilot lights Campfires Stoves Candles The list goes on! Pocket Wick is the best value, highest quality and lowest cost wick on the market. Eco-friendly, natural and sustainably sourced from European hemp and bee farms. Supports local farmers and beekeepers! A convenient roll of hemp wick. Just pull the roll. It’s that easy! Much better than a lighter! How many times have you burned your fingers when trying to light something? Something like a campfire, a BBQ, a wood-burning stove, a pipe, or maybe even a pilot light on a water heater? That is why people started to use those long matches or those extended butane lighters. Those lighters that never light when you need them! Pocket Wick is a natural and sustainable alternative to gas lighters and wooden matches. Pocket Wick is made out of hemp and beeswax, pure and simple. In particular, it is made from industrial grade hemp which has been grown by humans for thousands of years for paper, cloth, and rope, and which is an excellent alternative to cotton. The hemp is grown naturally in Europe without any harmful chemicals or pesticides. Hemp twine is coated in exclusively European-sourced beeswax to make Pocket Wick. Beeswax is a wonderful material as it does not ever degrade, provides natural waterproofing, and produces the long-lasting, slow, even burn that makes Pocket Wick the perfect choice for wherever you need a flame. Pocket Wick is totally waterproof so it is great for camping, festivals, fishing, or boating! [Sounds reasonably sensible ... but it still needs to be lit with one of those pesky always failing things it's supposed to replace ]
Fragile Do Not Bend Jun 2017 9:22am, 13 Jun 2017 1,872 posts	0 Fragile Do Not Bend I'm thinking a candle would do the same job.
decorum Jun 2017 9:59am, 13 Jun 2017 2,097 posts	0 decorum [It is,very basically, a candle wick. ]
GlennR Jun 2017 12:22pm, 13 Jun 2017 28,266 posts	0 GlennR WaveBlocker attaches to your phone and protects you by converting cell phone radiation into harmless LED light.
Maclennane Jun 2017 12:40pm, 13 Jun 2017 19,433 posts	0 Maclennane utter brilliance, Glenn
GregP Jun 2017 12:45pm, 13 Jun 2017 93,355 posts	0 GregP The fuck?
GlennR Jun 2017 12:58pm, 13 Jun 2017 28,270 posts	0 GlennR Greppers, you remember my 'radiation' tweet earlier today? These clowns followed me afterwards. gowaveblocker.com
Nellers Jun 2017 1:21pm, 13 Jun 2017 31,440 posts	0 Nellers My gob is properly smacked.
McGoohan Jun 2017 1:39pm, 13 Jun 2017 29,489 posts	0 McGoohan "Our proprietary technology is the result of a 4-year collaboration by top electrical, radio frequency, and antennae engineers" Yeah, I don't want no stinkin' third rate antennae engineer working on this. I want the best, dammit. The best!