Meaningless product descriptions

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GlennR Jul 2017 11:20am, 1 Jul 2017 28,730 posts	0 GlennR I'm not sure this belongs here, but there is an advert on the train for potatoes. Lovepotatoes.co.uk if you're interested.
Nellers Jul 2017 11:31am, 1 Jul 2017 31,475 posts	0 Nellers Love potatoes are something else entirely, surely?
GlennR Jul 2017 12:30pm, 1 Jul 2017 28,731 posts	0 GlennR Like sex turnips?
Markymarkmark Jul 2017 11:36am, 3 Jul 2017 5,387 posts	0 Markymarkmark Things not to google on your work PC.....
GlennR Jul 2017 12:12pm, 3 Jul 2017 28,746 posts	0 GlennR Stunning Swedes?
GlennR Jul 2017 10:20am, 4 Jul 2017 28,768 posts	0 GlennR Starfire Water™ is a proprietary alkaline (pH 8.5) performance water produced using breakthrough 21st-century quantum water technology. Starfire Water is treated with ultraviolet ozonation, infrared stimulation and electromagnetism for a negative ion charged water, as in nature, allowing deep, cellular intake through aquaporins, the floodgates to hydration. Structured Water – Water is naturally structured, but water from the tap is not and neither is most water sold in the store. Unstructured water goes right through you, while structured water removes toxins from your body. Energized Water – Even structured water on the market, isn’t energized. When you taste our water, you’ll feel a tingle on the roof of the mouth. That’s the energized water. It gives you energy for life. Infused Water – Most water is just water. But we infuse our water with Etherium, a trace form of liquid gold, known to facilitate higher awareness.
GregP Jul 2017 10:28am, 4 Jul 2017 93,893 posts	0 GregP You've made that up. That said, there was a thing on NSTAAF that claimed that Trumpton use additives to make water runnier so it comes out of the hose faster.
McGoohan Jul 2017 10:32am, 4 Jul 2017 29,917 posts	0 McGoohan "Etherium"
GlennR Jul 2017 10:33am, 4 Jul 2017 28,769 posts	0 GlennR I'm flattered that you think I'm capable of making it up. That's just the intro: THIRST THE FIRE “Legend has it that the mystical “Starfire”was the liquid manna of the divine, used by the ancients for ultra-focus, extreme performance, and even enlightenment. In that vein, we introduce STARFIRE WATER, a propiratary alkaline performance, bio-holographic “living” water produced using breakthrough 21st century, quantum water technology. STARFIRE WATER is treated with ultraviolet, ozonation,infra-red stimulation and electromagnetism for a negative (-) ion charged water, as in nature, allowing deep cellular intake through your aquaporins, the floodgates to hydration.Vortex induced, using a solar -helix and pyramid-grid system. to give it a hexagonal structure, and infused with monatomic elements, we are able to achieve a water with cosmic healing energy. This water is amplified with psionic wave oscillation tuned to the Universe’s frequency, helping to synchronize you with the heartbeat of our Earth. STARFIRE WATER is treated with Sacred Sound Resonance Transmission to vibrationally transform you on the deepest molecular level. Altogether we’ve created the world’s first premium alkaline . performance, “living,”” hexagonal super-structured water.”
McGoohan Jul 2017 10:35am, 4 Jul 2017 29,918 posts	0 McGoohan For our purposes, ‘structuring’ refers to the way in which water molecules align themselves, bond to each other, and interact with each other. It is important to note that nature has been ‘structuring’ and ‘imprinting’ water since the beginning of time. Through technology The Starfire Water Structuring Group has simply developed processes to reestablish these phenomena and return water to its natural structured state. Our process utilizes a centrifugal vortex to implode the water and set the water in motion for several hours. This reorganizes the molecular order into a receptive state to receive high frequency vibration. The water is then passed through a chamber where magnetic resonance imprints a series of frequencies in an infinitely modulating sequence. Molecular order and frequency loading mutually reinforce each other to maintain the transformation of the water. The result is a liquid with the water formed into small, biocompatible water crystals that resonate at a designed and predictable frequency. The specific frequencies of the crystalline structured water solution are designed to be amplified by the cells of the human body, and transferred through resonant paths to tissues in need of “tuning”. All flowing water, though it may appear to be uniform, is divided into many inner surfaces. This may be easier to visualize if you think of water as countless ropes all bundled together and each rope made up of individual strands all entwined together. In a structure such as this you would have many surfaces. In flowing streams, millions of vortexes form when water breaks past stones, sticks and other obstructions. These vortex patterns act as powerful resonant structures as well as energizers and electrifies for water. Vortex flows show the sensitivity of water to external forces. The speed of movement of water in a vortex has a rhythm of its own; it extends and contracts in a rhythmic pulsation. The vortex is really composed of a series of flowing surfaces (like the ropes) all binding together as if by an invisible hand. These flowing surfaces move at different speeds, slow on the outside and fast on the inside. The speed of movement of water in a vortex multiplied by the radius from the center is a constant. This means that as forces in a perfect vortex approach infinity, the hydrogen bonds of the water molecule cannot sustain the pressure difference and begin to stretch and weaken. The larger clusters of water molecules are thus broken apart into smaller clusters of water molecules.