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Apr 2020
5:40pm, 2 Apr 2020
35,997 posts
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Nellers
If there was an award for repeating yourself I'd win it with my next post
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Apr 2020
5:40pm, 2 Apr 2020
35,998 posts
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Nellers
If there was an award for repeating yourself I'd win it with my this post
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Apr 2020
6:46pm, 2 Apr 2020
7,961 posts
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Binks
If there was an award for walking into an orphanage I would win and my parents would be so proud.
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Apr 2020
7:11pm, 2 Apr 2020
35,999 posts
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Nellers
If there was a shortlist for people to win the anus award I’d be at the bottom.
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Apr 2020
7:13pm, 2 Apr 2020
7,962 posts
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Binks
If there were a shortlist for irony, Richard Osman would win it.
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Apr 2020
9:12pm, 2 Apr 2020
456 posts
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colindglen
If there was an award for owning a ladder, I'd be on the top rung
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Apr 2020
9:52pm, 2 Apr 2020
5,892 posts
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Sigh
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
... John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.
The man chuckled leeringly and said,
"John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to
make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
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Apr 2020
8:16am, 3 Apr 2020
12,149 posts
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Cerrertonia
I've just spent ages looking for my sombrero, only to realise I had been wearing it the whole time.
I was having a señor moment.
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Apr 2020
9:00am, 3 Apr 2020
5,448 posts
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57.5 Degrees of Pain
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Apr 2020
6:31pm, 3 Apr 2020
3,619 posts
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Pou Pou LePhoõk
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
RIP
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021