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Joke of the day........

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Nellers Apr 2020 5:40pm, 2 Apr 2020 35,997 posts	Quote Pin Nellers If there was an award for repeating yourself I'd win it with my next post
Nellers Apr 2020 5:40pm, 2 Apr 2020 35,998 posts	Quote Pin Nellers If there was an award for repeating yourself I'd win it with my this post
Binks Apr 2020 6:46pm, 2 Apr 2020 7,961 posts	Quote Pin Binks If there was an award for walking into an orphanage I would win and my parents would be so proud.
Nellers Apr 2020 7:11pm, 2 Apr 2020 35,999 posts	Quote Pin Nellers If there was a shortlist for people to win the anus award I’d be at the bottom.
Binks Apr 2020 7:13pm, 2 Apr 2020 7,962 posts	Quote Pin Binks If there were a shortlist for irony, Richard Osman would win it.
colindglen Apr 2020 9:12pm, 2 Apr 2020 456 posts	Quote Pin colindglen If there was an award for owning a ladder, I'd be on the top rung
Sigh Apr 2020 9:52pm, 2 Apr 2020 5,892 posts	Quote Pin Sigh John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !" That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night." She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" ... John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife." "Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said. The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary." She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know, he's only been in there twice in the last four years. Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
Cerrertonia Apr 2020 8:16am, 3 Apr 2020 12,149 posts	Quote Pin Cerrertonia I've just spent ages looking for my sombrero, only to realise I had been wearing it the whole time. I was having a señor moment.
57.5 Degrees of Pain Apr 2020 9:00am, 3 Apr 2020 5,448 posts	Quote Pin 57.5 Degrees of Pain
Pou Pou LePhoõk Apr 2020 6:31pm, 3 Apr 2020 3,619 posts	Quote Pin Pou Pou LePhoõk How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? RIP