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Feb 2013
12:28pm, 27 Feb 2013
24,010 posts
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JenL
I suppose it depends on what every individual considers that a relationship consists of.
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Feb 2013
12:31pm, 27 Feb 2013
5,352 posts
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*Anj*
Going back to McG's post on page 10 (I think) 'The idea of sex revolts her' Is it the idea of sex or the idea of sex with her husband??p
p.s perhaps she actually prefers ladies!
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Feb 2013
12:33pm, 27 Feb 2013
13,737 posts
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DeeGee
OK, how about this? There's a physical activity that I very much enjoy, but my wife finds uncomfortable and really doesn't enjoy at all. I'm very driven to do it, regularly; my wife doesn't want to, ever.
It it wrong that I occasionally go off for a weekend away to enjoy that activity with others?
Particularly as it's an activity that we cannot share.
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Feb 2013
12:34pm, 27 Feb 2013
2,201 posts
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Pestomum
It would be rather selfish if she doesn't get something similar to your running weekends, yes.
"My wife doesn't understand me..." 
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Feb 2013
12:37pm, 27 Feb 2013
5,353 posts
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*Anj*
A weekend????? Surely 10 mins should suffice.
Strangely me and OH had a very similar conversation the other night.
Our sex life is fine btw, not frequent but enjoyable when we do but I have seen my sex drive diminish over the last few years (as I approached and hit 40 bizarrely). I do enjoy it when we have it but it would be incorrect for me to say that I am ever in the mood for it.
Anyway, conversation was that, whilst he would never stray just to get sex, why couldn't there be legal brothels where men (or women for that matter) could go to satisfy themselves without getting into emotional attachments that affairs tend to bring.
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Feb 2013
12:37pm, 27 Feb 2013
13,738 posts
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DeeGee
Here's the problem, Anj. It could be the "idea of sex", or specifically with her husband. I'd wager that hubby assumes its the latter anyway and would probably do something to remedy the situation if he could. Wife is probably saying "It's not you, I just don't want it with anyone", when what she wants to be saying is "It's your fault, this is what I want".
Of course, I'm just guessing...
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Feb 2013
12:39pm, 27 Feb 2013
24,011 posts
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JenL
Whether it's wrong or not, DeeGee is a matter to discuss with your wife as your and her opinions are the only ones that count in your relationship. It doesn't matter a damn what anyone here thinks about it. It's for the two of you to work out.
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Feb 2013
12:40pm, 27 Feb 2013
13,739 posts
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DeeGee
If she wanted, Pesto, then yes. That's for another time, though...
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Feb 2013
12:40pm, 27 Feb 2013
2,202 posts
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Pestomum
I do wonder if people can have utterly emotionless sex?
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Feb 2013
12:42pm, 27 Feb 2013
13,740 posts
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DeeGee
Hold hard, Jen. I was playing Devil's advocate this time. Merely adding a viewpoint to the discussion.
And I actually was talking about running. Comparing it to sex, admittedly, but talking about running.
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