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Jul 2019
9:41pm, 23 Jul 2019
8,714 posts
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Mandymoo
Today has been a mixed emotions day- cousins funeral this morning but also mums birthday. She is 89. I wouldn't take her to the funeral as her dementia meant she was very confused and couldnt place family members - that's when it hit me quite hard.
That said we have had a lovely evening with Mum, had a chinese meal (her favourite), had some laughs but the evil dementia was there all the time - same conversation over again, not being able to remember things and getting upset, but generally having a lovely birthday. It will be a good one for the memory box x
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Jul 2019
9:54pm, 23 Jul 2019
40,569 posts
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McGoohan
Liebling's Mum update. Her Mum is out of hospital - it was good they kept her in so long as it reduces the risk of reoccurence of a TIA, as I understand it. She's able to walk and to eat again which shows as LD mentioned the 'transient' bit of the TIA.
Less good: Liebling has been staying at her parents' house to look after her Dad who has dementia. This morning before they went to collect her Mum, she left him alone for 2 mins while she went to the loo and he managed to completely smash the sliding patio doors. He remembered there was something about opening it to its fullest extent. Unfortunately that thing was 'Don't do it!' He then got repeatedly cross with Liebling as she kept having to tell him not to try to pick it up.
Emergency glazier came out and fixed up a single pane (it's double glazed of course) and will fit a second pane in a couple of days. He was also able to put the original frame back in. However, they've locked the door now and Liebling has hidden the keys. And stuck a big reminder sign on it.
Liebling's coming back here tomorrow (so, hopefully we can go on hol), one sister going down on Friday, other one back from her holiday on Saturday. It feels a bit like a relay race of Aged Ps.
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Jul 2019
9:55pm, 23 Jul 2019
40,570 posts
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McGoohan
Sorry Mandy, walked all over your post there - it was your comment about your Mum's dementia that reminded me there.
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Jul 2019
9:58pm, 23 Jul 2019
8,716 posts
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Mandymoo
It so hard isn't it McG?
Glad Lieblings mum is home and hope you get to go on holiday and relax
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Jul 2019
9:59pm, 23 Jul 2019
40,571 posts
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McGoohan
So folks: how many here have had the 'do you think it's maybe time you maybe thought about maybe considering a care home? Maybe?' chat with an elderly parent or in-law? Does it ever go well?
I think my in-laws are rapidly getting to the stage where they can't be left alone. However, my MiL after her first couple of TIAs said to one of her daughters: 'I don't need any help around the house. If I need anything, I can just call you!' Cue: another silent scream.
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Jul 2019
10:00pm, 23 Jul 2019
40,572 posts
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McGoohan
It is hard Mandy, and to be honest it scares the crap out of me.
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Jul 2019
10:03pm, 23 Jul 2019
27,340 posts
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LazyDaisy
McG if my experience with my own mother and my parents-in-law is anything to go by, it doesn't go well, and it takes fate and a frustrating number of years before it actually happens. Sorry if that sounds pessimistic 
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Jul 2019
10:16pm, 23 Jul 2019
40,578 posts
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McGoohan
No, no problem. I have a MiL who wouldn't allow the cleaner to do the bathroom. To a certain degree I think she'd almost rather die than go into a home, except that this latest turn has scared her a bit.
Really, I guess what she wants is what we all want: to not get decrepit. Even if that ship has sailed already.
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Jul 2019
10:24pm, 23 Jul 2019
14,994 posts
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Sharkie
I agree it's hard. I 'promised' my mum she would never have to leave her home. But of course she did.
Mum was still in the house she'd moved into in 1951 (just before me) My brother in Morecambe was a lot nearer than me in London and he and my SIL arranged it all, found a suitable care home near them... all I had to do was clear the house. Mum had gone.
It was the right thing though, you have to be brave. I think - as LD found - even the most reluctant of Aged P's do eventually, well, 'give in' as they might see it. But it's usually a relief for all concerned although it doesn't feel like that as so many conflicting emotions are involved.
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Jul 2019
10:28pm, 23 Jul 2019
35,131 posts
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Lip Gloss
Can't see my father ever agreeing to a care home sadly:-(
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