Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

4 lurkers | 140 watchers
LindsD
LindsD
21 May
10:56am, 21 May 2024
68,032 posts
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LindsD
Fingers crossed. I work with someone like that. She will outright swear that your idea is garbage and the issue you want to solve doesn't exist, then you'll hear her two weeks later talking about your solution as if it's the best thing ever. Grrr....
McGoohan
McGoohan
21 May
11:23am, 21 May 2024
54,096 posts
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McGoohan
... but is she crediting it as your idea or her own?
HappyG(rrr)
HappyG(rrr)
21 May
12:48pm, 21 May 2024
50,047 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
My mum always takes a few weeks to come round to an idea. I've got the hang of seeding something, ignoring the immediate negative response and then coming back to it a week or two later. Olds, eh?! :-) G
jda
jda
21 May
12:58pm, 21 May 2024
17,095 posts
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jda
TBF most people take some time to come round to ideas, at least sometimes. I've occasionally found myself suggesting something only for my wife to point out that she suggested it a while back and I dismissed it at that time :-)
LindsD
LindsD
21 May
2:12pm, 21 May 2024
68,035 posts
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LindsD
Hers, of course.
LindsD
LindsD
21 May
2:13pm, 21 May 2024
68,036 posts
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LindsD
Oh God, I'm married to jda :)
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
21 May
6:45pm, 21 May 2024
26,750 posts
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Bazoaxe
Lots going on here, too much to write down really. Someone soon is going to need to make a decision that MiL cannot remain at home. MiL herself wont do that, PoAs cannot do that for her or influence her her to decide. Which of those in authority blinks first ? Or can they not decide either?
jda
jda
21 May
7:34pm, 21 May 2024
17,098 posts
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jda
The way to do it is to get her into hospital and then don't let them release her on the basis that she's not safe at home. At least that's our experiences (once each in Scotland and England).

PoA isn't really useful for this, even if the BiL cooperates. Rather, it's the medical side that makes the judgment. But you can be a bit canny with the way you talk to them.
Bazoaxe
Bazoaxe
21 May
7:39pm, 21 May 2024
26,754 posts
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Bazoaxe
Last time she was in hospital we refused to take her home so they took her home themselves by ambulance and using the key safe.
LindsD
LindsD
21 May
7:48pm, 21 May 2024
68,041 posts
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LindsD
:(

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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