Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

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Serendippily Dec 2023 11:16am, 27 Dec 2023 29,347 posts	0 Serendippily So grim My mum has whats known in the trade as elderly self-neglect. And after being sectioned once would rather die than risk it happening again. And is too scared to do any of the simple things that would avoid it. So she spent xmas in lock in and because there is food in the house, we are leaving her to it. Because the risk of her starving is currently more remote than the risk that her right to privacy and autonomy will be abused. The simple advice i learned from my child is if you want to negotiate with someone, there has to be some trust, it has to be calm and they have to not be in a panic. I have no control over any of those things, so all i can do is make them worse, by intervening, or hope they will improve, by waiting. There is a risk she will fall over and be unable to get help, but i guess thats true of anyone, any age
Little Miss Happy Dec 2023 4:56pm, 27 Dec 2023 6,822 posts	0 Little Miss Happy I'm sorry to hear that things are still difficult with your mum Serendippily.
LindsD Dec 2023 5:22pm, 27 Dec 2023 65,751 posts	0 LindsD That sounds really hard
CK2 Dec 2023 5:33pm, 27 Dec 2023 2,499 posts	0 CK2 Oh my that’s tough for you Dipps!
Mandymoo Dec 2023 5:58pm, 27 Dec 2023 18,010 posts	0 Mandymoo Sending love Dipps
MH Dec 2023 6:14pm, 27 Dec 2023 1,024 posts	0 MH That is really hard.
Lip Gloss Dec 2023 6:30pm, 27 Dec 2023 73,046 posts	0 Lip Gloss ((((Dips)))
Serendippily Dec 2023 7:26pm, 27 Dec 2023 29,349 posts	0 Serendippily Thanks, the trip to the secure unit confirmed she has no dementia and is both intelligent and capable, and if the system was less broken, should also have confirmed she is autistic, but thats a four year wait and apparently not within the scope of anyone involved in any part of sectioning process. She is hypersensitive to noise and various services and children trying to phone her means she is now leaving the phone off the hook. I wake up so sad every day because we do not have an endless time left and its all such a waste
Little Miss Happy Dec 2023 6:35am, 28 Dec 2023 6,823 posts	0 Little Miss Happy Unfortunately diagnosing ASD is a longwinded and specialist process.
TeeBee Dec 2023 7:56am, 28 Dec 2023 10,145 posts	0 TeeBee Sending hugs Dipps

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD

I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

Alarm company

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Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

About This Thread

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