Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.

140 watchers
Oct 2023
1:52pm, 1 Oct 2023
71,520 posts
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Lip Gloss
Hugs LMH
Oct 2023
1:54pm, 1 Oct 2023
25,666 posts
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Bazoaxe
I am sorry to hear about FiL LMH.
Oct 2023
3:56pm, 1 Oct 2023
64,197 posts
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LindsD
Didn't call Mum last weekend because I was busy. Meant to call her yesterday but was too tired. Said I would call her today and I really don't want to. Am stressed and fed up about Billy's tax return and really could do without talking to her. Ugh.
Oct 2023
4:51pm, 1 Oct 2023
47,906 posts
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HappyG(rrr)
Weird blotchy face and swellings for mum. Find out about her PET scan this week and plans for the tumours. She's feeling positive enough though. Hugs LMH and Lizzie and anyone else with olds in difficulties. X :-) G
Oct 2023
5:04pm, 1 Oct 2023
17,438 posts
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Mandymoo
Loads of hugs being sent to those who need them xxx
Oct 2023
5:53pm, 1 Oct 2023
64,202 posts
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LindsD
Hugs HappyG

Called her. Draining as ever but it's done now
Oct 2023
6:36pm, 1 Oct 2023
6,679 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I hope she’s ok Happy.

Lizzie - how are you doing?

It sounds as though you have a lot of stress in your life Linds. Looking after yourself isn’t a bad thing.

Thanks for your thoughts. I’m feeling strangely conflicted but grateful that OH seems absolutely fine with it so I’m hoping it’s not going to spoil the rest of the holiday. I feel for MiL but am also glad that our being away means that nSiL and BiL are having to step up and deal with it rather than leaving most of it to me.
Oct 2023
6:39pm, 1 Oct 2023
25,668 posts
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Bazoaxe
Odd going’s on. BiL said three weeks ago we and his mum are out of his life and stopped taking his turn at shopping.

Oh and left the medication outside her foot for the carers to take in.

MiL reports he was in on Friday and gave her a card and chocolates for her 90th. Albeit four days late. We found the card and an empty chocolate box so assume she is back in his life.

I am getting sick of these antics and the rollercoaster he imposes on everyone else. MiL thinks if she has a word when he is next in he will start talking to us.
Oct 2023
6:58pm, 1 Oct 2023
64,206 posts
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LindsD
How exhausting Baz
Oct 2023
7:02pm, 1 Oct 2023
64,207 posts
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LindsD
Thanks LMH. Glad OH is OK about it and you don't have to do everything. I'm sure there will be plenty to do when you get back.

About This Thread

Maintained by LindsD
I thought I'd start a thread, as lots of us have elderly folks that we worry about/care for.

Useful info for after someone dies here (with thanks to grast_girl)
moneysavingexpert.com

Other useful links

myageingparent.com

moneysavingexpert.com

Who pays for residential care? Information here:

ageuk.org.uk

Advice on care homes and payment/funding

theguardian.com

Also: After someone dies, if their home insurance was only in their name, sadly the cover becomes void. But if the policy was in joint names, it will still cover the surviving policyholder (though the names on the policy will need to be updated).

A useful book of exercises for memory loss and dementia
amazon.co.uk

Pension Credit. The rules are a bit complex but if your elderly relative has some sort of disability (in this case dementia/Alzheimer's) and go into a home, they may be able to claim pension credit. So if carers allowance stops, it seems pension credit can start. It can also be backdated.

Fall alarm company, etc.

careium.co.uk

Useful Links

FE accepts no responsibility for external links. Or anything, really.

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