Autism

90 watchers

1step2far Nov 2022 6:20am, 3 Nov 2022 7,018 posts	0 1step2far Hey! The Great Dollop, my parents were very anti me getting a diagnosis (I'm in my 40's). Their view was it wouldn't change anything. But it has given me alot of insights in to why I respond the way I do to things. I've also been able to be kinder to myself, that I'm not failing or that I 'should' be able to do things that I struggle with. I can accept there's a reason and I'll step back, or find another way. It's improved my quality of life. Work have been brilliant (NHS), but you don't have to tell them, originally I kept my diagnosis to myself for a while. You would be protected under the disability discrimination act. Although as with everything some people are far more open minded than others. I hope you find it helpful and good luck
jelly Nov 2022 2:57pm, 3 Nov 2022 4,006 posts	0 jelly My husband and I don’t always see eye to eye over my diagnosis. People like to say you can’t use it as an excuse but it’s not like that, it just explains why certain things are harder for us sometimes!
Flatlander Nov 2022 5:09pm, 3 Nov 2022 2,614 posts	0 Flatlander People like to say you can’t use it as an excuse but it’s not like that, it just explains why certain things are harder for us sometimes! Exactly! Thankfully no one has said that to me, but then I haven't told many people, about 12, of my diagnosis and they are all people I trust. I don't have a partner, so I didn't have to discuss the fact that I wanted to get a diagnosis. What I did do, since I am "mature" and have no parents, is to ask a friend, who I trust totally, to come to my assessment to speak and give evidence on my behalf. She agreed without hesitation, apart from wondering if she was the best person to do that - she was! Whenever I say something odd to her, she just thinks "Oh, that's just [Flatlander]" and accepts me as I am. Precious.
DocM Nov 2022 5:36pm, 3 Nov 2022 46,691 posts	0 DocM Although, Flatlander, there are actually more than 12 of us on here that you have told
Flatlander Nov 2022 5:59pm, 3 Nov 2022 2,615 posts	0 Flatlander DocM ah, but all of you on here are special.
JK chameleon Nov 2022 8:09pm, 3 Nov 2022 17,115 posts	0 JK chameleon I have no official diagnosis, but having taken an online test a couple of years back, it suggested I might be on the spectrum or at least Autism-adjacent Upon discussion with housemate, he agreed with the assessment and said it actually explained an awful lot. Since then, it has improved our lives a lot - he doesn't get wound up by my (unintentional) rudeness, I understand more when he over-reacts to mundane things (although this insight hasn't allowed me to stop doing seemingly infuriating things!) I'm of the opinion that I'm not far enough along the spectrum to clog up the works waiting for an official diagnosis - my self-identification seems enough. But if diagnosis was easier I'd find that really positive, not to pigeonhole or "be disabled", but to have an official thing, and especially for when I upset one of the more sensitive souls at work with my directness. I thought I had a point, but I'm not sure I can make it now. Sorry. Bit of a ramble without a destination...
Raemond Nov 2022 10:41pm, 3 Nov 2022 9,723 posts	0 Raemond Realising that I'm autistic has helped me with the times I get frustrated with my NT colleagues, as well - it's not that they're intentionally being slow or obtuse, they're just wired wrong to make the connections that seem so obvious to me.
Flatlander Nov 2022 6:49am, 4 Nov 2022 2,616 posts	0 Flatlander They're just wired wrong to make the connections that seem so obvious to me I like that turnaround of the usual "you [autistic people] are wired wrongly."
DocM Nov 2022 7:52am, 4 Nov 2022 46,693 posts	0 DocM I like that too. and with my child I am trying to get a handle on what I (NT) am doing that they think is illogical (cos to be fair it probably is illogical).
Flatlander Nov 2022 11:14am, 4 Nov 2022 2,617 posts	0 Flatlander That phrase of Raemondo has made me think about when I got frustrated with trainees who I was teaching in my laboratory. It didn't occur to me at the time that they were "wired wrongly" which was why they couldn't grasp things that were obvious to me. At least I was able to adjust my teaching to deliver it in a way that suited them so they could learn. (Reminds me of a helpful comment that swittle wrote on a blog of mine in May last year about how he had to change his teaching to students on the ASD spectrum such that those adjustments opened up meaningful learning for those students. I seemed to have unknowingly done the reverse, an ASD person having to adjust to teach NTs )