Joke of the day........

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larkim Mar 2020 7:16am, 10 Mar 2020 10,559 posts	0 larkim What does a clock do when it gets hungry? It goes back four seconds...
daz1927 Mar 2020 8:24am, 10 Mar 2020 5,698 posts	0 daz1927 My Mother-In-Law was playing holy fuck about not being able to buy a toilet roll for love nor money, I could see she was upset about this so I thought I'd cheer her up. I took her out for a red hot Vindaloo and six pints of Guinness.
daz1927 Mar 2020 8:26am, 10 Mar 2020 5,699 posts	0 daz1927 So I was in the chemist and I said to the assistant “What gets rid of coronavirus?” She said "Ammonia cleaner." I said "Oh sorry, I thought you worked here...”
daz1927 Mar 2020 8:28am, 10 Mar 2020 5,700 posts	0 daz1927 In shock news, Love Island pair Curtis and Maura reveal that they faked love for 3 months to cling on to fame. Try 27 fucking years, said an anonymous This Morning presenter.
McGoohan Mar 2020 8:28am, 10 Mar 2020 43,868 posts	0 McGoohan (And she didn't read p1723)
daz1927 Mar 2020 8:29am, 10 Mar 2020 5,701 posts	0 daz1927 As if it wasn't bad enough being Dyslexic, now I've got the Racoon virus.
Sigh Mar 2020 8:56am, 10 Mar 2020 5,711 posts	0 Sigh
Jock Itch Mar 2020 10:18am, 10 Mar 2020 13,171 posts	0 Jock Itch BREAKING NEWS: Police were called to Tesco's this morning as a fight broke out in the toilet roll aisle... A police spokesperson said that they managed to calm the situation, and just one shopper has been left with soft tissue damage!
Nessie Mar 2020 12:14pm, 10 Mar 2020 1,146 posts	0 Nessie [excellent, Jock]
The Terminator Mar 2020 2:26pm, 10 Mar 2020 8,789 posts	0 The Terminator In Morrisons today they had no toilet paper at all. Went to customer services and asked if they had any. Nothing. Walking back to the toilets with my pants and jeans around my ankles was a walk of shame I can tell you!!