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Aug 2023
9:31pm, 21 Aug 2023
15,347 posts
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jda
Call me modern but my wife and I paid for our wedding 25 years ago and it never occurred to us that anyone else ought to be footing the bill. My mother did bake the cake which was appreciated.
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Aug 2023
9:37pm, 21 Aug 2023
70,836 posts
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Lip Gloss
We paid for our own wedding 39 years ago as well.
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Aug 2023
9:41pm, 21 Aug 2023
25,470 posts
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Bazoaxe
As soon as we were engaged (32 years ago) my MiL took control of our wedding and would have paid for the lot. My parents though as far as I know paid half.
However as it turned out my wife and I then had little say in who was invited and we had very few of our own guests as those footing the bill got their guest choices in first.
We always said that in hindsight we wish we had been in control and it would have been a very different occasion.
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Aug 2023
9:54pm, 21 Aug 2023
4,131 posts
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Pou Pou LePhoõk
I'm sure I once read research which indicated that the more that was spent on a wedding, the more likely it was to end in divorce.
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Aug 2023
10:03pm, 21 Aug 2023
29,754 posts
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Rosehip
30 years ago we paid for our own and organised it our way. My parents paid for most of my sister’s beforehand and I think mum was all wedding’d out and in no mind to argue.
(Dad slipped me the cash “to be fair” a couple of years later)
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Aug 2023
7:31am, 22 Aug 2023
17,441 posts
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Garfield
Good point, Pou Pou LePhook...
We had a wedding on a shoestring...registry office, then our friends surprised us otherwise we would probably have ended up at a local coffee shop for our wedding breakfast (they knew hubby very well...). Later on in the day, we ended up having supper at a local nice restaurant. We've been married nearly 28 years.
Unlike my sister, who had a very expensive wedding, funded by herself and they lasted 1.5 years. He wanted to move to a small town and have kids, she didn't want that...something they should have discussed before tying the knot...
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Aug 2023
9:55am, 22 Aug 2023
21,925 posts
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3M
I have to say, I benefited massively from a very traditional Father in Law, although our wedding was delayed by 8 months from our desired date because his other daughter got married too!
We contributed to both our boys' weddings, and by quite a lot more to our daughter's.  Tradition is a funny thing! Thanks goodness for a great share save offer that matured that year!
In all cases, they organised what they wanted, and invited who they liked. Fortunately they were considerate of their families, and of people who were pseudo-Aunts & Uncles, so everyone was happy.
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Aug 2023
11:45am, 22 Aug 2023
45,936 posts
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EvilPixie
Over the last 3+ years I have had an "add on" to my work at UB in that I have been part of the internal auditing team. We do 2-3 audits a year each so 2-3 days and get a token of appreciation in the form of a voucher each year (assuming the guy who runs it who happens to be my boss' boss remembers!)
Over recent months there has been hints that he wants me to become more involved with this - last mentioned on Friday.
I do have 1 line in my appraisal/annual objectives that says I will complete my auditing tasks.
I am now concerned that this "get more involved in" could be a reason to refuse PT working. I know the company has refused PT requests before
Will be interesting if Tuesday's (PM) catch up covers VR and PT or just VR - if they won't play ball with PT request I will hand in my notice to coincide with my annual leave and jury service!
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Aug 2023
12:22pm, 22 Aug 2023
25,474 posts
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Bazoaxe
Interesting in the different approaches to weddings.
Part of our thinking is we want to do what we can to help set them up. They saves hard to get their current home and we didnt charge my son digs on the basis he saved the money. I know they have been saving to move to a better home, but interest rates have put those plans on hold. I would rather help with wedding expenses and let them keep saving so they can get the home they want.
Anyway, need to wait til they are home and then see what they and out future in laws are thinking
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Aug 2023
12:30pm, 22 Aug 2023
26,880 posts
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TROSaracen
I paid for my own wedding (with then wife), large-ish family event. I was utterly appalled at what went on, both families - when a) it’s your own wedding and b) you’re paying for the whole gig you should be able to choose what goes on FFS.
More tantrums, stampy foot demands and sulking than a school full of 2 year olds. A horrible day, although it was an accurate precursor of the actual marriage…..
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McGoohan