Meaningless product descriptions

123 watchers

Nellers Jul 2019 10:48am, 14 Jul 2019 34,487 posts	0 Nellers On twitter or in the real world?
GlennR Jul 2019 8:14pm, 15 Jul 2019 43,529 posts	0 GlennR From Tableau Software: What does your music listening habits reveal about you? See how you can use data and visual analytics to discover your own data music story.
GregP Jul 2019 10:53pm, 15 Jul 2019 113,310 posts	0 GregP Oh that can fuck right off.
GlennR Jul 2019 10:56pm, 15 Jul 2019 43,531 posts	0 GlennR Quite.
GregP Jul 2019 10:56pm, 15 Jul 2019 113,311 posts	0 GregP Advanced graphene 360 technology transfers all of the energy of your stroke directly into the ball. So the clever people at HEAD have done away with strings, it seems.
GlennR Jul 2019 10:49am, 19 Jul 2019 43,606 posts	0 GlennR Not exactly a product but...the training regime of the singer Grimes: '...she said: “I maintain a healthy cellular routine, where I maximise the function of my mitochondria with supplements such as NAD+, Acetyl L-Carnitine, etc. This helps promote ATP, and it’s incredibly visceral.”...“From that point I spend 2-4 hours in my deprivation tank, which allows me to astro-glide to future dimensions . . . Hana then comes over, and we do a screaming session for 20-25 minutes while I slow-boil honey tea that maximises vocal proficiency.”...“I have also eliminated all blue light from my vision through an experimental surgery that removes the top film of my eyeball and replaces it with an orange ultra-flex polymer”'
ChrisHB Jul 2019 10:53am, 19 Jul 2019 18,190 posts	0 ChrisHB that is possibly the weirdest thing I have ever read. I expect that's only a demonstration of how protected a life I lead.
StuH Jul 2019 11:02am, 19 Jul 2019 3,219 posts	0 StuH [she's taking the piss? surely??]
Dochart Jul 2019 11:03am, 19 Jul 2019 1,012 posts	0 Dochart Doesn't she know that one should never boil honey? It results in a concentration of Hydroxymethylfurfural.
GlennR Jul 2019 11:50am, 19 Jul 2019 43,610 posts	0 GlennR [Not sure Stu. I've read it in two different places this week. Today in The Times, Caitlin Moran speculates that it might be a satire on Californian nonsense but she's not certain either.]