Joke of the day........

17 lurkers | 501 watchers
Sep 2021
10:02pm, 21 Sep 2021
13,567 posts
  •  
  • 0
Jock Itch
Sadly, the guy who invented the fruit smoothie has passed away.

He's being berried on Friday.
Sep 2021
6:03pm, 23 Sep 2021
10,240 posts
  •  
  • 0
Sigh
Sep 2021
6:24pm, 23 Sep 2021
2,624 posts
  •  
  • 0
JRitchie
I fell down the stairs at Gatwick today and had to go to hospital for an X-Ray.

I'm fine though it was only an airline fracture.
Sep 2021
8:24pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,030 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
I looked up an old girlfriend from school earlier.

Being a Gynaecologist has it's perks....
Sep 2021
8:26pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,031 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
I am currently on a week long sexual harassment course...

Only one day in and I think I am going to be fucking good at it....
Sep 2021
8:28pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,032 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
You know you're getting too old for the job's market when you forward a CV to a company, and they send you a free Parker Pen just for applying.
Sep 2021
8:30pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,033 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
Always buy more alcohol than you think you will need.

Better to be safe than sober...
Sep 2021
8:31pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,034 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
Masturbation is a touchy subject, whereas Oral sex is a matter of taste...
Sep 2021
8:33pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,035 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
I was lying in bed with my blonde girlfriend last night when she said, "I think my boobs are too small, I'm going to get a boob job."

"Hmm," I replied, "my hands are too small... what do you think I should do?"

"Do you want a hand job?"

She's a keeper...
Sep 2021
8:39pm, 23 Sep 2021
6,036 posts
  •  
  • 0
daz1927
I went to see a Physcic last night, I said to her, "Before I pay you, prove your abilities or I'm leaving."

She looked deep into my eyes and said, "You masturbate a lot!"

I said, "Fucking hell! That's brilliant, but how do you know?"

She said, "Wedding ring."

About This Thread

Maintained by PhatButFit

Related Threads

  • fun
  • jokes
  • sofa








Back To Top

Tag A User

To tag a user, start typing their name here:
X

Free training & racing tools for runners, cyclists, swimmers & walkers.

Fetcheveryone lets you analyse your training, find races, plot routes, chat in our forum, get advice, play games - and more! Nothing is behind a paywall, and it'll stay that way thanks to our awesome community!
Get Started
Click here to join 113,364 Fetchies!
Already a Fetchie? Sign in here