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Autism

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Jono. May 2016 1:46pm, 6 May 2016 4,100 posts	Quote Pin Jono. joe is threatening to come out of hibernation on Saturday and has asked to go to park gate for chips and an ice cream visitparkgate.co.uk
Tomsmum May 2016 1:20pm, 18 May 2016 1,894 posts	Quote Pin Tomsmum I have DS2 off school today Thomas came home from school for his regularly scheduled home lunch and lost the plot. He lashed out at me and Robert and threw things around, I managed to settle him slightly and then he did the above... He is now telling me about how I am going to be punished for changing a settled plan.
Tomsmum May 2016 2:05pm, 18 May 2016 1,895 posts	Quote Pin Tomsmum I understand a bit more now, he came home from school with something he wanted to tell me and discuss. He didn't want to do it in front of Robert.. His plan was more disrupted even than someone else just being there so 😡 However much I understand though lashing out and shouting at us is not acceptable - I don't know how to deal as I end up having to pacify him and I do.. Post incident.. Understand
Jono. May 2016 3:33pm, 18 May 2016 4,134 posts	Quote Pin Jono. sounds just like Joe Tomsmum - joe communicates a bit better now (13) - but he still has his moments and it is centered around communication, normally somethings hacked him off in school. Now joes older we have stopped pacifying him, we started to do this as he has gotten older and especially from the age of 12 - its not easy is it? joe normally lets rip, verbally, then some raised voices, settle down, find out what it was, joe says sorry. mind you he can still be badly behaved and sometimes he will say its because Im autistic me and Mrs J say no you're just being naughty!
halfpint May 2016 5:03pm, 18 May 2016 20,815 posts	Quote Pin halfpint I guess as much as possible we have to prepare them for any change of routine. Predictability is really important and reduces anxiety. However it isn't always possible. Sometimes we introduce a surprise element to a visual timetable, so they get used to the feeling of not knowing what is coming but in a controlled way. You then have an opportunity to explore how it feels and what helps to reduce that anxiety. I know you might not have a visual TT for T but maybe having some planned, surprise activity at the weekend?? Choose a time when he is generally less stressed (for us Sunday morning is a good time) I always recommend deep pressure activities for stress reduction or as preventive measure. Pushing, pulling, heavy lifting, stomping, squeezing.
HowFar? May 2016 6:14pm, 18 May 2016 12,639 posts	Quote Pin HowFar? HP, I was on a two day course this week where they were talking about that very thing - introducing the idea of change to visual timetables in a controlled way. They did say to start off with cancelling an activity that you know the child does not particularly like when introducing the idea of change. They also talked about 'sabotaging' activities to encourage the child to interact. They gave the example of a cutting and sticking activity, where scissors were not provided so the child had to ask for them. The lady next to me has a P3 girl joining her class next year. Apparently the staff have been told, by the parents and their principal, that they are not allowed to use the word 'No' with the child, as it is a trigger for challenging behaviour. Any thoughts?
Jono. May 2016 7:34pm, 18 May 2016 4,136 posts	Quote Pin Jono. Joe is very routine bound, activities & food. we have in the past and will do so for our holiday - introduce a time table so joe knows what we are doing each day. joes not bad sometimes with getting stuff - but like most 13 year old boys, lazy.
Stander May 2016 9:38am, 19 May 2016 15,395 posts	Quote Pin Stander Completely disagree with the ban of the word No. With all children, not just autistic children. Everyone needs to learn that there are boundaries, although obviously it can be harder with our kids to enforce them - we all have to get creative sometimes, dependant on the individual variances in our kids. My boy used to have massive meltdowns with unexpected changes (i.e. we went somewhere that as unexpectantly shut due a faulty fire alarm system), but now when we plan anything, we make him aware that this is the IDEA, but on the day/time, it might be different. He gets it now, but he's also getting older which is helping.
Tomsmum May 2016 9:58am, 19 May 2016 1,896 posts	Quote Pin Tomsmum I have to say I try not to say NO with no explanation unless its something dangerous, partly becuase Thomas needed absolute and specific instructions as to what to do or not to do when he was little to help process. There is also a difference between NO (you can't have ice cream for breakfast) and NO (you can't run out of school) Thomas deals (not well but deals) with some changes nowadays but its when he has something set in his head its much harder - he thinks something is going to happen (despite him not having told anyone else) I spoke to him last night and he said that if he had had a text telling him that DS2 was home it would have been much better as he could have adapted. This is so hard!!
Pestomum May 2016 10:40am, 19 May 2016 61 posts	Quote Pin Pestomum I think that the idea of introducing random change "in order for them to cope with it" makes about as much sense as ignoring SPD and forcing kids to do things that cause them pain. And "forcing" them to interact is just cruel. There seems to be a lot of low quality training around from professionals who really should know better. C now has an EHCP plan for proper "one to one" support at school while we wait for a special school place to become available within the required travel time.