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May 2016
11:33am, 20 May 2016
20,822 posts
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halfpint
The parent sessions will give you a deeper understanding of autism which will ultimately benefit T. You will learn things which will influence how you interact and adapt aspects of home life. All of these will have a positive impact on T. CAHMS is often quite diagnostic, medical model in my experience - they are not as holistic in their approach.
Have you had a child's plan meeting? Request one through the school - ideally they will invite an EP and other agencies who can support both you and Thomas. It is likely that school is causing him stress and he is taking it home with him. In Highland we have children's service workers who can do discrete pieces of work with the child to help them to understand their own levels of anxiety/arousal and introduce some strategies to reduce. There should be someone who can work with Thomas.
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May 2016
9:26am, 29 May 2016
4,165 posts
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Jono.
joe's on half term *at last my week of school* - he plans to leave the house once, on Tuesday to go into town with his mom. He has stated that he is going to spend all week on his lap top. I'm off at the end of the week and will do my best to get him out, but Joe's very single minded and if nothing comes up that grabs his interest, he's not for budging.
he was messing around in the yard yesterday he retrieved a bucket and spade from the shed and began washing them. *what are you doing son?*
*washing them for when we go on holiday to Florida*
*there's no beaches in Orlando*
Joe looked perplexed.
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Jun 2016
7:41pm, 6 Jun 2016
20,866 posts
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halfpint
Hi folks. I am in need of an offload so I apologise. Last weekend we went 'home' for the weekend. We stayed at my folks but they were on holiday so it was relaxed. QP spent an afternoon with his best friend at the harbour - it was like they were 5 again. It was also like seeing my child again for the first time in a long time. He was happy and relaxed, still slightly obnxious but he's a teen so....
Then QP and I have were unwell all last week. For him this meant a week off school, for me I dipped in and out all week when I should just have taken time off (martyr, moi). Again he was relaxed and calm and happier than I have seen him for much of the past year. It breaks my heart  He's struggled since we moved almost 2 years ago. He has been very unhappy since he started secondary school last summer. School say he is articulate and knowledgeable and doing well academically. They say he has friends and likes to be 'in the thick of things'. He comes home and retreats from the world (youtube, lego, movies) and cannot tolerate anything (esp. noise, singing, social interaction generally). He doesn't have 'friends' as far as he is concerned. He never wants to go to school and frequently gets so distressed I either have to take him to school and deal with a huge drama or relent and let him stay at home. In recent weeks he has gotten into 2 fights due to his stress levels impacting on his self-regulation.
Anyway I am at a loss. We have had several meetings and I am slowly unpicking things and working out what is stressing him. The school do not get it at all and communication between support staff and class teachers is dire. They have made some big mistakes which have eroded QP's trust as well. There is another school locally which has a better reputation but I would have to arrange transport which is not logistically easy and would probably mean taxis which would be expensive.
He is not that complex. His needs are not that hard to meet. I shouldn't have to be going through this shit.
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Jun 2016
12:33pm, 7 Jun 2016
10,261 posts
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Columba
Is there anyone on the school staff (teaching or support) that seems to "get it", Halfpint?
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Jun 2016
6:07pm, 7 Jun 2016
20,867 posts
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halfpint
There was an ASN teacher who seemed to get it a bit more but he has been on a 6 month sabbatical. I hope he is back after summer break. Some of the class teachers had potential at parents night but the timetable has just changed and they seem mostly different.
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Jun 2016
10:00am, 8 Jun 2016
4,190 posts
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Jono.
not sure I can add anything worthwhile halfpint.
Joe is 13 year old boy at a special needs school - school says he's a pleasant boy, with friends and he's doing okay. Joe loves his after school sports club.
Joe is a 13 year old boy at a special needs school - he comes home, and watches u tube, likes Lego, still has a thing for Thomas the tank, says he's bullied at school and lists all the children he hates.
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Jun 2016
6:45pm, 13 Jun 2016
4,201 posts
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Jono.
Joe has come across as admiring Tim Peake - a friend of mine got hold of mission patch from the ISS - took it home and Joe exclaimed *I hate it! *
Another epic failure as a parent.
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Jun 2016
7:49pm, 13 Jun 2016
20,873 posts
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halfpint
School refusal again today. End of term, change of timetable stress. I need a holiday from being a parent.
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Jun 2016
12:38pm, 15 Jun 2016
20,881 posts
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halfpint
He managed 4 periods out of 7 yesterday but so stressed again today he is at home. School refusal has been my biggest fear all year and here we are with that becoming a reality. Called a different school today to enquire about a placing request. Cried when I finally got to the office and a colleague asked if I was OK. I've achieved next to nothing work wise today. Being a parent of a (probably) autistic child is bloody hard.
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Jun 2016
9:50pm, 15 Jun 2016
4,211 posts
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Jono.
It can be exhausting - but as with any child, the relationship can be fulfilling and joyful. Autistic children require and show love - from their perspective it's their parents who are different.
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