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Jun 2016
7:26pm, 19 Jun 2016
4,221 posts
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Jono.
Molly J & Mrs J are in Manchester watching the stone roses - they're staying over night, so we sort of didn't go into a lot of detail with Joe as its Molly J's 18th today - when he found out his mom wouldn't be home until tomorrow we had a fair few tears - I was quite firm but fair with him and he settled down after a bit, he seems fairly contented now.
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Jul 2016
7:18pm, 14 Jul 2016
1,906 posts
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Tomsmum
We are on the final day of a not quite 2 week holiday, Thomas has coped fairly well helped by the fact that we are now happy to leave him whilst the rest of the family go the pool (for example) however tonight he had an epic meltdown. We planned to go and get a snack tea then walk back to the hotel eating it and then get ice creams at the local shop. We ended up sitting by the lake to eat and Thomas got surrounded by birds and ran away. Then DH suggested a walk by the lake and catching a boat back across, children reluctantly agreed and then when we got to the water taxi place just carried on going. Both boys spent ages ranting at me about it, Thpmas just got more and more angry  mostly about DH changing yeah plan, by the time we got to the other shore he was shaking and holding onto me. I brought him back to the hotel as he said he was feeling too sick for ice cream and he got to the room and cried and cried, i put him in the shower and when the other got back with their ice creams I sent themAway, Thomas needs quiet to recover. I am shattered!
Is he meant to learn coping strategies by himself?
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Jul 2016
7:51pm, 14 Jul 2016
21,025 posts
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halfpint
Being autistic means he needs some predictability and time to prepare himself for what is to come. He prepared himself for the original plan. Every time the plan changed it will have unsettled him and he will have needed a lot of energy to manage that. It's really hard, especially when you're on holiday, but spontaneity does not work for someone like T. If the plan has to change you maybe need to talk him through the new plan and what to expect . Give him time to process it - then stick to it.
As parents of autistic children we have to be a few steps ahead and try to pre-empt these sorts of situations. It's exhausting and we don't always get it right. In terms of coping strategies he needs someone to teach him or direct him to find his own. So no he isn't meant to learn coping strategies on his own.
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Jul 2016
8:03pm, 14 Jul 2016
1,907 posts
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Tomsmum
I need someone to tel DH that HP, he just doesn't understand that T is not just being difficult
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Jul 2016
8:09pm, 14 Jul 2016
21,026 posts
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halfpint
Is there training or support for parents in 'shire TM. We have a few options here for parents of children diagnosed. Our full day is delivered by SALT, OT, Ed Psych, autism practitioner.
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Jul 2016
8:57am, 15 Jul 2016
4,294 posts
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Jono.
hiya Tomsmum,
Joe is very routine bound, no spontaneity at all - we're heading out to Florida at the end of August - we were meant to go 3 years ago, but after a particular melt down we decided that it would be;
a. torture for Joe.
b a waste of money / stressful time for the rest of us.
so for two years we me and Mrs J took turns in going away with molly J - Joe had actually a good time at home - our week together (despite one massive melt down) was one of the best weeks we have ever spent together.
so we will have a routine for everyday we are away - a list. Joe seems to be looking forward to it and has spent time looking at different places / shops on u tube.
the long summer holiday is difficult for Joe - his sleep pattern (which is terrible anyway) goes right out of the window.
Joe will have nothing to do with activities / clubs set up by the school. School is school - holidays are holidays.
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Jul 2016
12:33pm, 26 Jul 2016
4,324 posts
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Jono.
soooooooooooooooooo the summer holidays are once again upon us and J jnr has taken on the persona of a nocturnal creature - possibley a hamster.
last night he was awake - that I was aware of - at 01.00hrs, 03.00hrs & 05.15hrs (the last time joe appeared from his bedroom and asked *have you been for a run* (I had and was about to get a shower.
otherwise not too bad, one meltdown (Saturday night) - but he is still looking forward to his jollies at the end of August.
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Jul 2016
12:40pm, 26 Jul 2016
21,068 posts
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halfpint
We've been on holiday for 3 weeks already. QP is fairly chilled and behaving mostly as I would expect a 13 year old boy to. A few strops and rudeness but nothing like we get during term time. We got a puppy the day after schools broke up and he has been brilliant with him. Our only wobble came during a visit from my sister, her 2 year old, her 3 year old border terrier and her grumpy husband. He was mostly absolutely brilliant and tolerated all the chaos really well. Toddler interfering repeatedly with the digging of a hole at the beach was all too much though. Or more so the fact he was told off for removing said toddler from the hole (not as gently as he could) which was deemed unfair.
I am loving the more relaxed atmosphere in our house and dreading the beginning of term.
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Jul 2016
1:22pm, 26 Jul 2016
2,458 posts
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Cyclops
Tomsmum, my daughter is nothing like as extreme as the other children talked about on here but she liked her routines and needed to know in advance everything that was about to happen; and any changes needed to be talked through, any problems she could foresee discussed and time to get her head around it. It was limiting in some ways but there was no other way to do it. It just was what it was. I drew up plans for every day in the summer holidays - where we were going, what we would be eating - so that she could be prepared.
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Jul 2016
7:49am, 27 Jul 2016
4,327 posts
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Jono.
we're doing a plan for when we go on our jollie Cyclops, Joe seems to like that approach as he is very routine bound.
day to day during the holidays though, its a bit difficult, with some interrupted sleep mrs J likes a bit of a lie in if she can get one and Molly J is not rushed to get up too early.
Mind you I was out like a light last night and heard nothing from 22.00hrs until 04.00hrs!
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