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Dec 2020
1:32pm, 1 Dec 2020
13,336 posts
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Jock Itch
What do you call a load of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
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Dec 2020
2:17pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,488 posts
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McGoohan
I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic...
He said, "Sure, knock yourself out!"
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Dec 2020
2:17pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,489 posts
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McGoohan
I had a really happy childhood. My Dad would put me inside a tyre, then roll me down a hill...
They were Goodyears!
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Dec 2020
2:18pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,490 posts
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McGoohan
I quit my job as a postman when they handed me the first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, "This isn't for me!"
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Dec 2020
2:18pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,491 posts
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McGoohan
My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.
I said, "Yes just once."
He asked, "What was it like?"
I replied, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright!"
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Dec 2020
2:19pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,492 posts
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McGoohan
Yesterday one of my good friends told me I often make people uncomfortable by violating their personal space...
It was an incredibly hurtful thing to say and it completely ruined our bath!
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Dec 2020
2:19pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,493 posts
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McGoohan
My local barber just got arrested for selling drugs. I've been a customer for 6 years...
I never knew he was a barber!
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Dec 2020
2:20pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,494 posts
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McGoohan
Black Friday special...
Tesco are giving away free Christmas turkeys to anyone who can outrun their security guards!
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Dec 2020
2:22pm, 1 Dec 2020
70,360 posts
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swittle
[Looking idly at this page, it occurred to me that, if it were printed off, and each joke cut away as a strip of paper, they'd be a great item for including in one's homemade crackers. ;)]
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Dec 2020
2:23pm, 1 Dec 2020
47,495 posts
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McGoohan
[One unfortunate puller gets 'Anus']
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Mundane Joke Thread
Nov 2021