Giving up sex?

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Oysterboy Feb 2013 9:50am, 28 Feb 2013 5,763 posts	0 Oysterboy I do sometimes and it is a bit weird and and involves a lot of preamble. "Well there's this running site I go on and it has a forum and someone on there posted about X" He must think this is rather a strange place.
Ted Feb 2013 9:53am, 28 Feb 2013 12,718 posts	0 Ted It is...
Hills of Death (HOD) Feb 2013 10:05am, 28 Feb 2013 28,375 posts	0 Hills of Death (HOD) As George Best says Terry I just love S>>>>g
runner duck Feb 2013 10:40am, 28 Feb 2013 10,290 posts	0 runner duck interesting thread! i know someone who lasted 17 years in a sexless marriage before he strayed. although straying did conincide with his kids having left home so perhaps he was waiting til they were grown. going back to the 'lie back and think of england' point - this seemed to be seen only as a negative but it can also be seen as a positive thing. ie you love your partner and you want to make them happy therefore you occasionally pretend you want and enjoy sex. that's not personal experience, btw! although i do remember when the kids were small and thinking i was just too tired to bother but going along with it because i felt it was mean not to but then always enjoying it once we were underway, so to speak. bit like dragging yourself out on a run but being glad you did once you get going also, i was thinking about the 'never again' aspect. and i suspect that that may be more to do with putting the other person off from asking/hinting for sex and having to repeatedly say no. if you say never they'll stop going on about it. one thing i've noticed amongst 'girl talk' is that women hate being pestered for sex by their partners and there does seem to be a direct correlation between increased pestering/expectation and decreased female libido (again no personal experience here!). this is of course based on a small group of middle-aged women who are the type to talk about such things when tipsy My favourite plaintive cry was someone talking about their birthday and the fact that part of their "treat" would have to be sex "It's my bloody birthday not his so why do I HAVE to have sex!!" I laughed til I cried! but those experiences are much more to do with differing frequency requirements than with being revolted. i would be devastated if my oh said that to me and i would definitely take it personally. and i would definitely want to get counselling to try and work out what's was happening. i also think that if you make that decision then you have to accept that your partner might stray. you can't make unilateral decisions of that magnitude without some sort of fall-out.
Caterpillar Feb 2013 11:17am, 28 Feb 2013 7,529 posts	0 Caterpillar I would imagine (for a man) that it gets to be a bit of a drag to be almost begging for some and being given the cold shoulder treatment repeatedly. Sure you can make allowances. Yes we do know that it might not be the right time of month. Yes we do know that she might have have a stressful day at work/with the kids. Yes we do know that we reek of garlic having been out for a curry. BUT if none of that applies and we have still been repeatedly refused conjugal rights there must come a time when a man might say - bugger this for a game of soldiers, I give up. And then he stops bothering to ask.
early bird Feb 2013 11:21am, 28 Feb 2013 11,099 posts	0 early bird Conjugal rights!!!! Oh dear me. That reminds me of my ex and part of the reason why he is my ex.
Wobbling Feb 2013 11:25am, 28 Feb 2013 1,678 posts	0 Wobbling When I was a teenager, my parents were friends with another married couple. The chap was always alluding to his lack of sex and how women just didn't like it. The fact he was a 20 stone MCP who proudly boasted he'd never read a book didn't seem to register with him as the reason the misses (and my mother, but that's a different story) wasn't putting out. I ended up in a relationship with their son, for 8 years. The minute he moaned about the lack of sex (quite without justification I hasten to add), I made it very clear it was a very unattractive way to behave and pretty much guaranteed the chances of getting more would be reduced.
Wobbling Feb 2013 11:26am, 28 Feb 2013 1,679 posts	0 Wobbling Indeed EB. I think marriage comes with one right - the right to be called 'Mrs'
Velociraptor Feb 2013 11:30am, 28 Feb 2013 24,251 posts	0 Velociraptor I have a very good reason for not being called "Mrs". Can I have the right not to have to get the hairballs out of the shower trap in its place?
JenL Feb 2013 11:32am, 28 Feb 2013 24,045 posts	0 JenL My response to a complaint about lack of sex would always be along the lines of "Okay - what are YOU doing to increase the chances of ME want to do it with you?" And yes, hearing someone complain in public about his/her partner's perceived lack of "coming up with the goods" in the presence of that partner would make me think "I'm not suprised s/he won't" and that would have nothing to do with external appearance but an awful lot to do with the lack of respect and consideration being shown.