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Feb 2020
12:08pm, 16 Feb 2020
1,966 posts
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Little Miss Happy
So difficult to support MiL through it really. She visited him on Friday and took him a Valentine's card and some chocolates (he does still enjoy eating chocolate and cakes, in fact more than he did as he's no longer worried about putting on weight!) so we had her here for dinner yesterday.
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Feb 2020
1:36pm, 16 Feb 2020
15,935 posts
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Bazoaxe
LMH, it is so difficult to deal with the challenges of old age.
Latest on MiL after wife had a good chat with GP is that he expects it to be a return of bladder cancel which was diagnosed and dealt with in 2015 and has been checked and confirmed as clear a few times since then.
The fact that there has been bladder cancer is news to us although we remember a few appts where we couldnt get any info out of MiL and she said she was waiting for letters that never arrived. It was around this time that each appt was followed by UTIs and the start of things really going downhill.
What isnt clear is if MiL new about the cancer and chose not to tell us, or just didnt take the news on board.
The carers are getting increasingly worried about her welfare and wife has had a few calls, but essentially has said there isnt much we can do as she kept this bleeding to herself for 3 months and has been referred. MiL however has agreed to pay for a private consultation next week which might get things moving, however if they confirm bladder cancer and given how she is, I have no idea how she could cope wit treatment.
MiL still furiously refutes any suggesting she is getting frail and there was a bit of a stand off at A&E last week.
We do hope to get MiL out and through to Glasgow next weekend as my daughter is in the last dance show of her time at Uni and is in 5 dances including starring as the bunny in a ballet dance in an Alice in Wonderland themed dance. Our only worry is that these outings seem to be the catalyst for falls as she tries too hard to get ready and we may end up all missing the show.
Fingers crossed for an uneventful week
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Feb 2020
1:41pm, 16 Feb 2020
11,532 posts
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D2
My mother was 97 yesterday, she says she is looking forward to dying as she believes she will meet up with people she used to know who are dead even though she didn't like them when they were alive. Apparently she is going to keep an eye on me when she is up there so I have to behave.
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Feb 2020
3:02pm, 16 Feb 2020
29,230 posts
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LazyDaisy
 That's exactly the sort of thing my mother (97 in three weeks' time) says D2!
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Feb 2020
6:03pm, 16 Feb 2020
1,967 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I'm sorry D2 - I didn't know whether to laugh or not at that. I must admit that I'm no longer sure that getting older is better than the alternative.
Baz - what can you do to make it more likely that MiL will manage the outing well? Can your wife go over early and help her to get ready or could you have her over to yours the night before and help her? If you can think of where the problem is likely to arise and preempt it that might help to make it a successful outing? If it is bladder cancer the treatment could be quite invasive depending on how advanced it is and maybe something that she won't want - difficult times I'm afraid.
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Feb 2020
7:42pm, 16 Feb 2020
15,938 posts
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Bazoaxe
LMH, the early start will be the approach.
I was looking for some rarely used running tights yesterday as I was marshalling at parkrun and wanted to keep warm, but couldnt find them.
When we went to visit MiL she was wearing said running tights. No idea how she ended up with them
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Feb 2020
6:36am, 17 Feb 2020
1,968 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I don't know whether to laugh at that or not Baz!
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Feb 2020
7:42am, 17 Feb 2020
33,360 posts
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LindsD piemate
I have to admit to a smile.
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Feb 2020
8:28am, 17 Feb 2020
15,941 posts
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Bazoaxe
I laughed to myself. I did think when we arrived that it wasn’t her usual attire and wasn’t until I was leaving I clocked the name and thought they are mine.
I didn’t have the heart to say anything.
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Feb 2020
11:20am, 18 Feb 2020
11,937 posts
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Garfield
D2, hubby's aunt found life in her 90s quite lonely as she had outlived all her contemporaries...so that is possibly how she is feeling. She had plenty of family living fairly nearby visiting her regularly, so it may have been not having people of her own time around to talk to about shared things that made her lonelier then.
Baz, sorry but I can't help LOL at the running tights!!
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