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Jul 2019
6:49pm, 21 Jul 2019
27,314 posts
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LazyDaisy
I've started doing that with my mum - eg when she asked me 'Have you seen my parents recently?' I replied 'Not for a while' - true (they've been dead for decades) but not as upsetting for her as 'They're dead.'
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Jul 2019
8:50pm, 21 Jul 2019
40,537 posts
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McGoohan
Liebling doesn't really post on or watch this thread but she's not here, so I'll do it.
in brief, her mum, my MiL is in hospital again with another suspected TIA. She had two in January.
This one seems worse - she was unable to walk at first though is walking around a bit now. More worrying is that she's having 'throat issues', i.e. she can't swallow very well. In many ways, it seems that she's 'forgotten' how to swallow. She asked from some raspberries then didn't know how to eat them. She's having only mushed up stuff currently.
It is only six weeks since FiL was in hospital with a lung infection that seemed to come from nowhere and wouldn't shift.
Liebling is staying at her parents and doing hospital duties. I'm not sure how long for. Having been through this with both my parents, this all feels a bit... endgameish.
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Jul 2019
9:10pm, 21 Jul 2019
27,317 posts
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LazyDaisy
TIAs are, as their name implies, transient McG so with luck the swallowing thing could come back quite soon - but it does sound worrying.  Much love to Liebling xx
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Jul 2019
9:11pm, 21 Jul 2019
34,532 posts
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Nellers
Hugs to Liebling. It's tough. Hopefully the swallowing issues pass and things return to normal.
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Jul 2019
9:39pm, 21 Jul 2019
40,538 posts
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McGoohan
Selfishness alert: FiL was in hosp immediately before we went on hol to St Ives and it did have a somewhat negative effect on our mood the first few days. And now? We're supposed to be going away on a walking hol at the end of the week. It just seems everything we plan at the min has this extra worrisome dimension. Will FiL be ill? Will MiL be ill? Will Liebling be ill?
I realise also that we are not unique - this is part of the territory of having Aged Ps isn't it?
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Jul 2019
9:47pm, 21 Jul 2019
34,533 posts
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Nellers
It is, mate. It's a lot of worrying whether it's worth planning something in case......then planning things knowing plans might have to change......then still being annoyed (and feeling guilty for feeling annoyed) because things do have to change.
It does seem to be the way of things.
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Jul 2019
9:51pm, 21 Jul 2019
1,531 posts
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Winniefree
I agree. Everything we plan at the moment is overshadowed by the strong possibility that my MiL will suddenly worsen. We are the sole executors so have to consider what needs to be done in any set of circumstances - it’s hard work and worrisome.
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Jul 2019
9:52pm, 21 Jul 2019
27,318 posts
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LazyDaisy
It's not selfish McG but sadly it does feature in a lot of our lives.
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Jul 2019
9:58pm, 21 Jul 2019
28,649 posts
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LindsD
That's what this thread is for McG. To say how we really feel.
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Jul 2019
9:59pm, 21 Jul 2019
40,539 posts
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McGoohan
I've offered to do my stint with FiL this week of course but currently we're thinking it'd confuse him too much. He has dementia and can't recall his children's spouses any more and he's pretty unsure about the grandkids too. Apparently he found the drive back from the hospital visiting too confusing - there was an accident and a diversion in place. He wasn't comfortable till they got back in the house.
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