Elderly parents or relatives to care for and/or worry about? This is the place for you.
1 lurker |
140 watchers
5 Apr
6:33am, 5 Apr 2024
7,051 posts
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Little Miss Happy
Good news jda. Hopefully FiL's house will be worth more than a bare plot as it's more likely to get planning permission? Serendippily - just want to let you know that I'm thinking of you and hope things are improving. |
5 Apr
11:19am, 5 Apr 2024
12,534 posts
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leaguefreak
Jda do you have several valuations to that effect and in writing? In case FIL runs out of care funds and relies on the state.
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5 Apr
12:04pm, 5 Apr 2024
16,788 posts
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jda
Nothing formal yet, but money isn't really the problem, being a Yorkshireman to his bones, what he might have spent on house maintenance he saved instead! It will be worth a bit, just not comparable to what a proper house in the same spot would be worth.
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6 Apr
5:56pm, 6 Apr 2024
2,351 posts
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Heinzster
I've been lurking on this thread for a while. Both my inlaws have had catastrophic declines in their health over the last few months. FIL developed delirium in Jan after a short hospital stay for low platelets. He was discharged but it continued to escalate and he was readmitted. He has effectively been unresponsive for the last month, the medics have been unable to find a cause. The hospital are hoping he can move to a step down bed. MIL has always been extremely difficult. She has complex medical problems and is under the care of the community palliative team. Despite this, and exceptional support from carers coming in, we have to be there 24/7 as she refuses to use her rollator and falls several times each day. She is stubborn and caustic beyond belief with family, but her friends have her on a pedestal like Mother Theresa! We are at our wits end, she has just come out of 2 weeks respite care. The care home and social workers have indicated she needs a nursing home placement, but Mrs H and her 2 siblings are struggling with the guilt of putting her there as she 'cannot contemplate being cared for by anyone except her children'. Part of the difficulty is that we don't know how imminently palliative she is, we may manage a few weeks but the 8 weeks before placement nearly destroyed all of us. |
6 Apr
10:25pm, 6 Apr 2024
32,329 posts
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macca 53
Feel free to vent on here Heinzster. I always found it the best place to save my own sanity
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6 Apr
10:32pm, 6 Apr 2024
2,689 posts
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CK2
That sounds very difficult Heinzster. A move to nursing home does sound sensible however I understand the guilt. In retrospect it would have spared my mum a lot of stress and pain if dad had moved to the palliative residential care instead of dying at home, but she felt too guilty.
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6 Apr
11:25pm, 6 Apr 2024
67,464 posts
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LindsD
Sorry to hear that Heinzster. There were times in my Dad's decline that a hospice break or home would have been easier. |
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7 Apr
6:50am, 7 Apr 2024
7,059 posts
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Little Miss Happy
I'm sorry to hear that your MiL's attitude is making a difficult situation worse Heinzster. Please use this thread as much as you want, you'll find nothing but support here.
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7 Apr
12:33pm, 7 Apr 2024
1,382 posts
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stilldreaming
Heinzster Could you get your GP to say that your father is not safe to be at home? From my understanding (having m-i-l in nursing home for last weeks of her life), unless you have Power of Attorney over health care, you're not (or M-i-L wouldn't be) in a position to prevent such a move. I've found this thread really helpful, so please hang around 😊 |
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7 Apr
12:36pm, 7 Apr 2024
1,383 posts
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stilldreaming
Heinzster Sorry I meant mother-in-law 🤦♀️
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