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Nov 2020
9:13am, 19 Nov 2020
440 posts
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stilldreaming
I agree Rosehip. I would say that the majority of plans I had for when I retired are on hold due to Covid, but (and it's a big but!) I already feel so much better in myself. My job was full-on (teaching) and I regularly had migraines and stomach issues, neither of which have troubled me since. My OH also took early retirement (his job involved working 70+ hours a week on a regular basis) and is so much happier. I'd say take the money and run and if he decides he's retired too early, then look at all the other options available both paid and voluntary. Good luck!
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Nov 2020
9:18am, 19 Nov 2020
18,169 posts
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Bazoaxe
He could always try and find another less stressful job. One idea in my mind if I got such an offer was an OU course.
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Nov 2020
9:22am, 19 Nov 2020
7,268 posts
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Fragile Do Not Bend
I don’t think he will have any problems finding fulfilling things to do eventually (maybe not straight away) but it’s hard trying to get him to see that.
I’ve sort of been there, having worked part time for well over 10 years I’ve accidentally found more things to do than I have spare time for and I can’t see how I ever managed to work full time with a long commute.
In a way I feel it shouldn’t be as big an issue as it is, it’s such a first world problem.
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Nov 2020
9:24am, 19 Nov 2020
1,861 posts
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Winniefree
I’ve just about got to the stage Rosehip mentions but it’s taken a while. It is hard to stop an all-consuming job, and the current times won’t help. I put a ‘buffer’ in, a month away in Canada, which helped break the cycle but it was still a long process to adapt.
I think one of the difficult things is coming to terms with the status change. If you are identified, or identify yourself strongly with the role, losing that identity can feel a bit brutal and I definitely went through a process of grieving for what I’d had, even whilst I was experiencing the relief of the lack of daily stress. A thoughtful colleague gave me a leaving present, a book called ‘Not Fade Away - How to thrive in retirement’ by Celia Dodd. It isn’t a magic solution but has some insights which might be useful.
And ‘useful’ I think is a key word, whatever hobbies or interests there are I think we still need to feel that we are making a contribution to something, somehow. What that means is different for all of us - I’m on a couple of boards and do a lot of voluntary administrative work, which is ‘useful’ but also keeps me in contact with the outside world. (Although chairing a very formal AGM over Microsoft Teams yesterday was acutely stressful!)
I think that by acknowledging the fact that it won’t simply be sailing into a stress-free sunset your husband is making a realistic start and with you to help him plan his way through the first few months it may not be as difficult as he fears. Despite everything I don’t regret it for a moment, and only now realise how stressed and exhausted I was, and that life’s too short to go on feeling like that if you don’t have to.
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Nov 2020
9:28am, 19 Nov 2020
7,269 posts
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Fragile Do Not Bend
Thanks for everyone’s posts so far, especially Winniefree - that’s really helpful.
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Nov 2020
9:33am, 19 Nov 2020
10,473 posts
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Mandymoo
This is where OH's work comes into play - he has 65 days in his last year of working to use as wind down days. 65 days!!! They obviously don't want them all taken at the end of his retirement notice period but gradually over the time to get him use to not working.
I get nothing like that, work for a one man band who is not around that often (see him 2 or 3 times a year), no perks etc. I cant wait to leave....
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Nov 2020
9:38am, 19 Nov 2020
7,054 posts
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Northern Exile
I was like that Mandy. I also couldn't wait to leave .....
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Nov 2020
9:49am, 19 Nov 2020
6,689 posts
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Eynsham Red
I’m due to retire next May and had been a little concerned by leaving full time employment after forty six years.
Since COVID-19 and the associated distancing protocols involved, the enjoyable social interaction at work has totally disappeared and now I can’t wait to retire.
The actual work I still really like and find stimulating, but hadn’t realised what a huge part of the overall going to work enjoyment the social interaction was.
Roll on May 6th.
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Nov 2020
9:54am, 19 Nov 2020
3,692 posts
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um
From my prior post (ie do nothing one), you can tell I slipped quietly from a fairly hectic 'important' 'Silicon Valley' job to retired.
Or, more like, 'on holiday' - well, that's the wy I approach it. I've resisted parish councils, sports clubs committees etc.
I have time to do what I want when I want, with a few family commitments. Until covid, enjoyed travelling, SWCP, Lakes, US, Oz etc. never once felt the need for routine to be imposed on me.
These days? Yes, I suppose it is a routine that's grown on me ...
- get up when it feels right (8-9 ish),
- tea & juice & fetch (like now),
- papers in the conservatory,
- killer sudoku,
- run or walk (deer stalking in NF with the camera),
- crossword,
- a bit of reading (locla library has ebooks, and mobile libraries),
- plus any 'jobs', like helping MiL (tree surgery, roof repairs, internet, general pc help etc), gardening when I must (lawn mowing, leaf raking, fence repairs, tree surgery etc)
3/5 years in to retirement, I still have email contact with the team I worked with and provide occasional mentoring. I worked for a large international company, so have colleagues almost anywhere we travel to meet up & chat, and get a few dinners a year (pre covid) if they come to UK.
So, so far, I haven't suffered or even thought of emotional or mental issues.
Therefore, my only advice is, 'treat retirement like a holiday - live life how you want* rather than how someone else says.
*assuming the 'you' is plural to include partner/spouse/children/pets etc ....
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Nov 2020
9:55am, 19 Nov 2020
3,693 posts
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um
[ 3.5 years in - not 3/5 ! ]
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Synge 
Any pension experts out there?
Sep 2022
