Meaningless product descriptions

124 watchers

GregP Mar 2017 4:51pm, 24 Mar 2017 91,315 posts	0 GregP There's never enough choice when I'm looking for petrol cans, either. Drives me nuts, so it does.
GlennR Mar 2017 5:18pm, 24 Mar 2017 26,163 posts	0 GlennR I only buy free range organic ones.
Markymarkmark Mar 2017 5:57pm, 24 Mar 2017 4,939 posts	0 Markymarkmark Plastics / petrochemicals - basically organic chemistry, yes?
decorum Mar 2017 10:27pm, 24 Mar 2017 1,731 posts	0 decorum Msr Xgk Expedition Service Kit For Unisex Adventure Gear Cooking System - Red Unisex camp stoves ... it's not as if it's even ... pink!
Winded Mar 2017 6:18pm, 25 Mar 2017 5,338 posts	0 Winded At least unisex sounds versatile. The petrol can is only for unleaded. What if I have leaded or diesel? How stupid would I look when my poorly specified container doesn't work
decorum Mar 2017 6:37pm, 25 Mar 2017 1,736 posts	0 decorum [But what if you need to use it after Uni? But yes, I can value the need for a fresh can ]
GlennR Mar 2017 10:20am, 27 Mar 2017 26,197 posts	0 GlennR MEANTIME BESPOKE The world’s most personalised beer, based on your DNA taste profile. Welcome to Meantime Bespoke, a one-of-a-kind service we’re making available to the most passionate beer fans amongst you. Our Brewmaster Ciaran Giblin tested the theory on himself recently, and has become the first brewer in history to brew a beer dictated by his own DNA, using cutting edge genetic profiling to map his personal preference of specific flavour profiles. Ciaran has since created a hoppy Double IPA, to match his preference of bitter flavours. We’re now giving YOU the chance to brew your own ultimate personalised beer using the same genetic profiling to individually tailor it to your palate. With the opportunity to customise all elements of your beer from start to finish, and work alongside our world-class brewing team to bring your beer to life, Meantime Bespoke is one of the most unique and exclusive beer experience available anywhere in the world. HOW DOES IT WORK? Pioneering personal genetics company 23andMe will assess hereditary variations in your oral taste receptors (the TAS2R38 gene) to reveal the genetic variants that could explain personal preferences towards specific flavour profiles within beer such as sweetness and bitterness. Hereditary variations in a person’s oral taste receptors (the TAS2R38 gene) will be used to help determine their perception and proclivity to sweet and bitter profiles, primarily based on the ability to detect propylthiouracil – a chemical similar to the bitter compounds found in cabbage, raw broccoli, coffee tonic water and certain dark beers. Following analysis of your genetic make-up via a saliva sample, our team of brewers will use your individual genetic insights to map the flavour profile of the personalised brew. You will then have a one-to-one consultation with our Brewmaster Ciaran allowing you to input on the creative process and ensure you’re happy with the proposed style of beer. With exclusive access to our state-of-the-art Pilot Brewery and onsite Meantime laboratory, Meantime Bespoke clients will also have the opportunity to get hands-on with the physical brewing process by adding hops, grain and testing the mix. WHAT DO I GET? Receiving a minimum of 12 hectolitres of your unique brew – equivalent to over 2,000 pints – plenty to keep you and your pals going for some time. You can also name it, and for an additional cost work alongside our creative team to put individual touches to the packaging design too. What’s more, the package includes a study course, ‘The Knowledge’, to allow Meantime Bespoke clients to gain a deeper understanding of the brewing process. Some of the modules include: key ingredients of beer, evaluation of and faults in beer, how to taste beer and a session on world beer styles. Once bottled, the brew will be hand-delivered to you to drink as you wish. As the ultimate experience for beer lovers, the Meantime Bespoke package can be further enhanced with a range of other exclusive features (for an additional cost) including: • The custom beer poured in the Meantime Tasting Rooms, credited to the client and kegs being made available in clients’ local pub. • A set of personalised laser-etched pint glasses, with further options to have a glass moulded to fit your hand. • Consultancy time with a creative agency and illustrator to design and produce a label for the new brew. HOW MUCH WILL IT SET ME BACK? The base exclusive service which includes everything except the above three optional extras costs £25,000 plus unprecedented bragging rights with your mates. For enquiries, please get in touch with us at Bespoke@Meantimebrewing.com
McGoohan Mar 2017 10:22am, 27 Mar 2017 28,629 posts	0 McGoohan Wow. Just wow. I'd been wondering how to spend that £25,000 that was burning a hole in my pocket.
Dvorak Mar 2017 10:43am, 27 Mar 2017 13,384 posts	0 Dvorak April Fool's Day has started a bit early this year.
Carpathius Mar 2017 11:25am, 27 Mar 2017 11,564 posts	0 Carpathius If it's 'specifically genetically engineered' to your taste buds using your DNA (which isn't really how genetic expression works anyway), why would your mates and random people in your local pub want to drink it?